Tuesday, July 31, 2007

I was told i was immature when i argued with Vic... Now i know, really had a slap on my face now. I've lost a friend who is dear to me due to my lack of planning before i speak. I never had learnt my lesson. I'm a failure myself and yet i say others. I did not wipe away the dust in my eyes before telling others. I need to have a new goal. I'm not sure if i have the HS yet, sometimes i fill moved in my prayers and it rolls other times it's not rolling enough to produce sound. I'm so confused, but yes i am sinful. Thus i am cannot confirm that i have the HS althought i was told so. Until i'm fully sure will i declare it out officially.

Lie, the one big problem. To get away from things easily. A sign of a loser, coward. Afraid to face up with one's problem. Me. I am such a person. To get away from more trouble lie. To prevent myself from getting into sticky situations lie. An act of a child. Immature. Darn it i never would have known about this if today never happened. Losing a friend due to my stupid choice of words. I hate myself. I never meant to say those words that way. It was a joke but a joke gone bad i guess. I have to make it up. I want to be forgiven. But better yet. I want to be a better man. I never wanted to say all those bad points about me. But if i do not i'll never learn, grow up. How to grow up ? According to Princess Serene(i can't believe she uses that name, anyway don't comment more about it) one must reflect upon one's mistake and learn from it and move forward not looking back. Guess that's the truth. I have to agree with her.

Now i know why God's law is made perfect and frees us from sin. It is those laws that make us a better human. It is the way we should live our life. To find the easy way out would be nice and easy but in the end you'll find yourself being the a worst position when you cannot get out of the sticky web you have woven. Isn't that what the devil wants to be dishonest and seek the easy way out and end your spiritual life. How cunning is he ? In fact he is clever to do such a way as people will fall like blocks in a game of domino.

I still remember one line of the skid Joel did when we were young. He was playing as one of the devils. "Bring them to Church but block their ears do not let them hear." Isn't that true, it was an eye opener than people in church do not pray. Being late i went straight to adam, people were talking during the sermon. They were not constraining their kids from playing. The kids are suppose to attend lessons food for the soul. Parents are to learn and hear the words of God. Why do they do such things ? It make me sad to see people going out when the word prayer is being said and coming back just after the prayer. Why is the church doing to land the people like this ? An awakening should be done. We should be slapped on our cheeks and hard is possible. Wake us up from our still waters. We should be flowing and increasing to become rushing waters instead we are breeding mosquitoes, time to change.

Becoming the new generation i think I have a duty to do something. Isn't it right my fellow friends who are in church with me. We have a duty to change things to make it moving. I thank God for the blessings but i wish sometimes hardships should be given to us to make us wake up and rely on him. To know how powerless we are without him and it is him that gave us life and using his blood forgave our wrong doings. I have to spend some time so set my goals now. Hopeful more of us will aspire to be preachers, even if you are not ready or not suitable yet, try... If it's God will you may be the next preacher to help serve him and be close to him. Isn't that a joy we should aim for. More importantly work for him with all your heart. Some things once your name is written down, you can never back out. Good Night.

Woooo It feels good to be forgiven. I love it. I guess i know what it's like to beg for mercy liao. Ok i know what to do in the future. Nitez Everyone. I'm gonna have a peaceful sleep tonight. Lol. Thank you God.

Shannon

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
10:41 pm

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Monday, July 30, 2007

These is for someone i know. You if you are reading this i hope that you'll like it. Cherries pink and yummy to taste. It's a fruit so it's rather good for the body. Anyway i love cherries but now that i'm older i guess all the cherries have to be given to Gabby during birthday parties. Lol. To think i was the one who ate them all in the past during my birthday. I wonder who was the greedy pig who ate all my birthday cake cherries during K1, birthday Boy without any cherries what has the world become. Young pigs... Who well it's stupid to chase after a matter that has happened over 10 years ago. Infact i think it's almost 16 or 17 years ago. Lol. Anyway enjoy this poem,BX.

Cherries

One night
She brought me cherries
She left them on my doorstep

In the morning
The sun revealed them
Dew glistened like a myriad gems
Birds warbled somewhere nearby
A squirrel scampered by
A rabbit nibbled at the clover on the lawn
But no creature dared touch
The cherries

I looked in the bowl
Each cherry like a beating heart
Which one mine?
Which one hers?

I’m not much for eating
It took awhile
But when I bit into that first cherry
I knew there was no turning back

After posting this poem i was in the mood for writting a poem of my own. Lol. I wonder if it's good. It's just a thought all of a sudden filled with what i've thought over the years. Anyway here is my 5 min of fame writting this poem. Enjoy.. No title.... Maybe if i make it good enough i'll put a title to give is a position.


Flowers blossom under the bright yellow sun,
Trees grow reaching for the deep blue sky,
People racing to beat the time,
Trying hard to touch the stars.

Time was wasted when we're young,
Young where stress is never near,
Youthful days of blissful ignorance,
Stress was something never heard.

Playing around both boys and girls,
Never thinking of gender terms,
Fun was all we think about,
Laughting till the Sun goes down.

Now we're older, more matured,
Laughter is fake knives flying in the air,
Pain and tears is how i feel,
when i talk and trust in you.

Only some have earned the trust,
Those were the ones who laughted with you,
Cried with you and prayed for you, those are friends worthy of your trust,
Friends who will surely last.

Time has passed and people crosses path,
Flowers blossom at first sight making people stuck side by side,
Certainly sometimes there wil be wrath,
But still unto God we must abide.

Well this is the end. Nitez everybody. Gotta sleep.


Shannon

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
10:38 pm

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Poetry something i have loved since i got in contact with it. I remembered when i was first taught about poems. Yes it was catchy and it challenged my knowledge of my english. Making me want to find out more about what i lack during english when i have not studied but should study. I asked alot of questions since i didn't know the meaning, I checked the dictionary when i did not know what the words were since i had not gotten into contact with it before. I studied like mad even thought i hated the teacher alot. She was the most hated teacher in the school. The yellow tiger who eats every student she sees as her pray, some called her the black Lion's wife from the "Lion King" i've forgotten the name cos she was very wicket and unreasonable. Lol. I was made to stay back on a saturday and write a thousand lines "I must not tell lies and i must hand up my work on time.", the problem was that i had already handed in my work and she was holding it. I think she is one teacher i really cannot forgive but since i've forgotten about it all this years i guess i'll leave it as if it never happened. Why do i say i won't forgive her ? I spent 3 hours writting those bloody lines and she tore it up before my very eyes. THe most funny thing was that i didn't give all the lines some paper fell into my bad and i unknowingly gave the paper to her. It was not until 3 days later she came and gave me my book back without apologisting to me..... Damn that really pisses me off. I enjoyed the lessons and day dreamed the whole lessons as students were reading them. A2 and A1's were my grades. I was in the ship during the lightening storm and the cold waters was freezing when te ship hit the corals and sank to the bottom of the icy ocean. The pain when the finger was chopped into to get the ring. Yes i was in the story and i felt the story. That's my secret of studying short stories. It was fun, since if you are in the story there is no way you'l forget how does the story continues and what will happen the next moment. Thus able to answer the questions given. But during the 3rd year of secondary school, the teacher left so we just studied lit for a few months before it was cut out from my life. Don't ask me why. She was hated by so many. I guess someone reported her to the principal and was exposed of her devilish acts. Those were one of the rumours others were her marriage life was crapped up so she quited, she broke up with her boyfriend or her husband left her for a better women. She got killed by robbers. Bah bah bah.... some many were made that i can't remember. She saw my friend on a sunday buying games and called him to go home instead to study. Man, i pity her child. How stressed he would be to be bossed around like that. Even on a weekend would she not give air to her students what more her child, if she ever had any.

My ability to speak well in nice perfect old english and i loved speaking in the old ways of english. It was as if i was living in ancient times, speaking to those people who spoke those words. Cool. I was back to the old singlish spoken by my more chinese side friends. The worst was after i entered Poly. Seriously my language life was ruined, i was speaking as if my language was rotting day by day. It got worst and worst, somehow my friend's way of english is super different from mine and what's worst after being corrected they still stand firm to their belief and continued with their mistakes after being pin pointed may times. Oh man.... I need english lessons again. If my child ask me how to do english in the future, i guess i'll give him or her an F9 if i teach the language and the teachers will call me over to school to view their academic progress. Spoke to Emma (i want to spell her name correctly but somehow i sux at spelling so i can't write her actual name even if i wanted to) the other day and i remembered she was taking languages in UNI super cool man, what more it's english. Woooo.... But anyway i guess i'll take a double degree when i enter UNI. I want to continue my course for awhile more since the job seems interesting. I'm not sure what my future holds but maybe i'll have to work overseas instead if i'm to change lines in the future. I'll have to take a japanese and english degree to more to Japan and teach there. I'm not sure what to think now. Long term goals are such a headache. If i don't plan and aim high i'm sure i'll be a good for nothing in the end. I don't want to make my parents worry on their death bed about me so i must be successful for their sake. I don't really mind the farmers life, since they are most peaceful and grateful of God's grace. Oh well talked too much. Guess i'll just share this poem i found online and end today's blogging. Byez.

Strawberries


i was a small strawberry once
in summer shade--
deep shadows of sleeping cats, watchful of
rose white and rose red, both sandal-footed and
cold-grass frolicking, issuing to the backyard
world a summer-girl chirrup succeeded by one
toothy boast and one
shy smile.

i was a strawberry sometimes then--
a summer dress made of me, a scarlet fruit--
clothed in a berry-hued and seed-studded
white-dotted fabric frock,
i twirled and orbited a small place
like the same true fruit in cool soil
among chastening berry blooms
in the small silent garden.

the strawberry and i--
plump and red, sweetening in summer sun
laughing at the distillation of time,
at the absence of memory then.
Nicole Rudick

Shannon

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
9:53 am

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Sunday, July 29, 2007

Somehow after thinking for some time i feel that why did God make women when he saw that Adam was lonely. Cos he should have just stayed lonely instead of having so much headache. Oh well what's done is done. I talked to a few of my friends, yes they dislike women and find them a mess but we can't live without them. Which is also true. Without the first women there will not be a growth in human population. Oh well, anyway. It used to be the part where women will be the one who cook and you enjoy and beautiful meal and love from your wife. Nice, cool. Than they had to work, yeah it's good. They have something to do instead of staying at home all the time and doing nothing but housework. But to totally work and forget about the skills of cooking to totally unacceptable. At least know how to fry a freaking egg. Having a useless younger sister who dunno how to cook but crawl on the bed doing nothing before running down at the first scent of food. Chewing on the food before arguing that the food is not good, sick. Ungrateful females. This is the reason why i dislike women so much. Wanna eat pizza but not daring enough to order. Waste of money and abusing money even if you can afford it. Imagin people who are unable to afford their meals what more pizza. Even if you throw those food like rubbish they are grateful that food is given to them and thankfully eat them. Our leftovers.

To own a choir gown or cloths but yet failed to even present once. A failure, a big mess. Yes you are part of the choir but yet you fail to present. People start talking, yes you do not know anything about it so you don't feel bad. Does it feel good to have comments from friends, elders and even preacher's wife which are bad. I wonder why i feel a great sense of anger when i heard that choir is to be visited when a friend is present as well. Yes visited, i used that word as i find it the correct term. It's a choir for God. Not for mortals instead they are to touch God. If you can touch God naturally people would be moved with tears as well. Your whole soul during practise should be brought forth, yes you may have fun and think that it's crappy. Imagin taking an exam without studying isn't that what i would call a one way ticket to hell ? Claiming to be presenting without attending choir won't that be a one way ticket to ashaming God ? Isn't it better if you leave ? Would be considered a student if you don't go to school ? By name yes but are you really ? I'm super disappointed in so many think not only this, even in church after hearing so many things yes i'm disappointed in many ways. But if you think the truth is in there why not stay ? Stay firm to what you believe in. Workhard and perservence will pay off in the end. Anyway a change of topic.

I'm really thankful for having parents, how do you manage to find the time to cook. Watch shows, Bath, play CS, eat the food you cook when it's still hot, chat on the phone with someone, sms many people, water the plants, mop the place and spray the house with bugspray to kill all those pesky germ carrier. Before running to church. I'm thankful for having transportion as well so i do not need to cycle to church like the older generations. Luckly i still have my parents in this world. If i didn't experience this yesterday i still would be taking my parents cooking for me for granted. A car to transport me from a place to another quickly.

What a tiring day, somehow i think i know why God made women and yeah it's good to have females. I really wanna enjoy my life and have a loving wife to look after me after a tiring day. To talk to and enjoy our time together. Oh well. Why am i even thinking of this thinks since NS is not over, i do not have a steady income and i do not have a ability to afford a grand wedding dinner. Anyway now is not the time for that, study... Focus.... After getting good grades will i get a good pay. Getting more words of God will enable me to know more of God, talking more to God will get me closer to God. As long as i'm spiritually saved and my grands allows me to bring honour to myself and my parents. It will be good to know. Thus i must focus before i enter to other things.Short term goals must be achieved before i can reach my long term goals. Thus thinking short first before thinking far. Ok. Gotta go.

Shannon

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
8:10 pm

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Thursday, July 26, 2007

Do guys have mood swings, i think not. It is but a nature of the male mind(mine) to have the tendancy to feel as if they are having moody swings in reality i only felt irritated over certain words. It might be the results of being locked up in a lab for long hours, so i guess the poly system should change abit. The pain of screaming out loud is finally reaching my head. Maybe copying the modern way of talking like those who bears skin that is white as paper, is not such a good idea after all. Words like "whatever" seems to be heard very much. Even to those who are blood related to me do i hear it ever so often. The word bears great rudeness to me if i were to speak kindly. Do one ever say such horrid words to parents? Does being a friend or close friends give one the right to be rude?

Thus i shall have to mend my ways. I beseach my Lord to have mercy and forgive my soul once more for i have sinned once again to feel anger, as daily my sins grow and only through him do my sin stains be washed clean. To have thine to wash my cloth to snow white again and again makes me naught to lift my head up high. As it is i who should be making the cloths remain white and not stained with sins ever so often. To have you wash my cloths all the time bring me to realise how ashamful am i if i were to speak face to face with thee. Thankfull i am to have known you and to be hand picked by you to be your child. To have true friends i thank thee, for thou has brought me many wonderful friends, many of whom i have come to trust and share my feelings with. Wonderful parents have thou gave me that love me and rebuke me when i'm wrong and correct me of my ways thus so i could walk back to the road thou has made for me to attain your grace and infinite love as i trod on it.

Bless me with your infinite power of endurence, as if i were to be a volcano many people will be hurt in the process. Thus i humbly ask if you would grant me this one very wish at the moment. To be patient and not seek after wrath for it is true with wrath there is no peace and without peace will one seek vengence, thus your holy works cannot be carried by me. I wish to do you works with nothing holding me back.

Why oh why do i find resentment in what i do ? Why oh why had i taken this reponsibility ? Is it for fame or power ? If it is so cast me away now for i have not done your words instead become one who preaches to be known for the good in man's eyes and not of thine. If it is your calling i am accepting, guide me in my ways that i may show your likeness in me. To be a God fearing person, to work for you and repay the debt that i owe you. A debt that cannot be repaid for a sin too big, it can not even be compared to the daily sins which i have been acquiring what more repay the debt of you dying for us. Keep me pure in heart and actions and in my motives. That i may be flawless in your eyes.
A wish and a desire from a little child (for i have more to learn in his words and more to grow in both mental and faith aspects).
Shannon

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
11:45 pm

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Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Romanized Lyrics & Translation:

param gyeoli changeul heundeulgo
nae gimalhan jakeun nawei pan weouro
areumduphge byulbijdeureul
kadeul chaewojuneyo
malhi aphahajimah
nalkkok aneunchae dadokyojumyeo
jakjara weouro haejuneyo
keodji mothalmankkeum himekyeowon aphawado
nunmuli apeul karyeowado
kajjimothal nae sarang aphedo nan useullaeyo
jamshimado kyeote haengboghattdeon giogdeureul
kashime kanjig halkeyo
du nune suno najin jeobyuldeul
cheoreom yeongwonhi

Translation of Youme’s version:

the wind is shaking the windows,and over my small room,
the stars fill up the sky, shining brightly too many to count,
the stars reassure tired me
they wipe away the many tears that are deep inside me

don’t be hurt too much..they hug me tight and pamper me
and comfort me,
telling me to go to sleep

though I’m exhausted to the point where I can’t walk
though my tears blur my vision
I’ll still smile in front of my love that I’m not able to get

Even though our happy times were short, I’ll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever

My dream is coming. though it is unusual that my one star is bright
it is very bright, even blinding..it comes down to my shoulder
stop being so sad..it holds my hand as it touches me
and gives me a warm hug

though I’m exhausted to the point where I can’t walkthough my tears blur my vision
I’ll still smile in front of my love that I’m not able to get

Even though our happy times were short, I’ll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever

Only for today, I won’t cry though my eyes fill with tears
I want to laugh like those stars
Oh~ I want to cherish all my happy moments deep inside my heart
Like those countless number of stars, forever

Maria Lyrics

ja chigeum shijakhae jogeumsshik tteukeop ke
u duryeowohajima
gwelchyeo nunape jeo taeyangi kileul bichwo
u jeoldae meomchujima
Maria Ave Maria
jeo hwin gureum kkeutddaji nala
Maria Ave Maria
keochin pado ttawin sanggwan eopji

ki jeokeun ireohke nae nunipe gwelcheoisseo
u jeoldae meomchujima
Maria Ave Maria
jeo hwin kureum kkeut ttaji nala
Maria Ave Maria
keochin pado ttahwin sang gwan eopsji
(Maria)

meomchwobeorin shimjangjeoncheka
keotjapeut su eopshi ttwieowa
Maria Ave Maria
cheo hwim kureum kkeutkkaji nala
Maria Ave Maria
keochin pado ttahwin sang gwan eopji
Maria Ave Maria
cheo hwim kureum kkeutkkaji nala
Maria Ave Maria
keochin pado ttahwin sang gwan eopji

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
9:04 pm

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Tuesday, July 24, 2007

I feel sick of some stuff that i've said. Arguement with someone i hold dearly to make me consider some things. What am i think when i said that. Should i tell the truth in the future ? DO i lie ? Is what i'm feeling wrong ? Why isn't there a response from you ? Why are you angry ? It's my problem why be bothered about my life and stress yourself ? Many questions running in my mind that make me confused. How should i put it in such a way it doesn't insult you ? How do i know how to put it ? IS there any signs in doing so ? Is being direct bad ? Is telling the truth as it is hurtful ? Sooner or later it will have to be heard if you want to know it. Oh well. Thus i took this stupid test. It's like a 10 second test. Super fast so i guess it's not reliable. Mostly false.

Shannon took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Suffering from the effects of those things which a..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
12:49 pm

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Sunday, July 22, 2007

Got an sms last night by SK, yeah i wanted to go since it was about church but ermm....I also didn't want to go since i was feeling tired... So i went to sleep thinking if i would go or not. Planning in my sleep i guess i overslept and woke up like an hour ago. which like 2.30 ? Well around that time. Woah guess i really had little sleep over the week end to sleep over 12 hours. Yep wanted watch the 9 pin ball shown on tv at 12 some more. In the end miss every single bloody show i wanted to watch. Haiz.... Well guess after fuming for an hour i'm stil angry over it. Damn. Well i've found a clip on it. Guess this will do but it's not the skills i wanna learn. It's a 40 plus min clip so it will take time to load if you wanna watch it.

This is another 50 min plus billar pro series. It's a super test of skill for noobs like me. I prefer to play with more than just 9 balls. If you can use more and test through accending order wow. A true test of skill especially if it's totally clustered together making it more difficult to wack.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsHAG8YrXG8)

Anyway i was search youtube for Sister Act all of a sudden, maybe i'm still stress over what to talk about during hymn leading. Yeah it was fun to watch and cool as well but in the end it's not right to sing like that. At least it's a way to run away from stress at the moment. Lol. Yeah i was thinking why hear songs from singers when you can sing it yourself, everyone can be a singer not only those on tv. If you love singing than go all out for it. It's doesn't matter if you are bad, just wack. Go and sing your heart out, improve. Here is a clip on youtube on some person singing. It's not as good as the actual singer but who cares, it's good.

I have heard comments like don't compare. Yeah if you compare yourself to people who are better it might be discouraging but take it this way. You have a goal right ? You want to be as good as the person who is singing so well. You want to be better. Even for choir. You want to do better to glorify his name. To sing well to make a mark on people's hearts but more important leave behind a message that you are suppose to spread. To be better at singing it will be good for God to heard, to have the meaning sung from your hearts is the treasure God wants. So improvements is what we all must seek, try to close the gap from being as perfect as God although that is not possible but try. At least when you see him face to face you would not fill so useless like you have done your best to attain perfection. I guess i must change my lifestyle instead of just thinking about it and slowly waiting for results i must wack already. Don't care, don't give chance, just wack. Make as much mistakes and learn, if you cannot learn it through the easy way learn it the hard way. As long as you learn. Don't make the same mistakes as before. Never cry over the past but seek the future. Anyway got projects to complete. Byez.

Shannon.

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
3:59 pm

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Monday, July 16, 2007

For once this sem, i managed to get to go to school at 3 pm and what do i get. Babies climbing into my room and asking if i want to wake up at 9.15 am. I was seriously annoyed but since they were kids i just replied them and went back to sleep. Finally i was about to enter deep slumber and than again entering at 9.30 to ask some question which i didn't get since i wasn't sober at all. I just replied some yeahs and oks, go have fun downstairs. Going back to sleep i was surprized that i can even go back to La La Land but i was woken up at 10. This time i was really pissed, "Cao Fu i'm enjoying my pan cakes. They are very delicious you know. We are watching shows while eating them." before she slowly closed the door and when i thought she was to close it totally she opened it again and said "are you still sleeping ?" Man.... I wonder how will i survive when i have my own kids in the future man.

Oh well... I was to be fetched by my dad today at 7 but the lab tech kicked the students out(including me) by 5. Thinking how tired he would be i just asked my friend to drop me at a bus stop before i took a crowded bus home. Oh well... Hey the story don't end here. Although i wish that was the end but children are the worst animal to tame. Until they become aware of "cause and effect" they will not be treated as a person who i can talk normally to. Oh well today's events has almost passed already. At least i got some time with my mom. Rarely got the chance to talk to her this week due to choir sharing and all that, so it's meaningful to be talking to her today. Oh well better get on with my HW... Oh i mean assignment.. YEah.

Oh yeah before i slept yesterday i got a message from BX...Lol it's so surprizing rarely do i get a girl to message me sweet dreams and goodnight for no reason. Chatted with her abit and build relationship. Hmm... Maybe it's a sign or not. Since today she had a favour from me the moment i came online. Lol. Wonder if it had anything to do with the message to make me happy. Anyway God will guide so i don't have to care of those kind of things. So V dun have to worry i won't snatch your Lao Gong. If it is God's plan you and i cannot stop it from happening.

Oh well back to my time in the service of man. I wonder why we spend so much time for man and ourself instead of God. Oh well... Brings back the pain of hearing the sermon said on sat. Like someone just splashed water on your face to wake you up from being lazy. Anyway gotta run. Nitez and God bless.
Shannon

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
9:13 pm

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Sunday, July 15, 2007

Thank God for his little blessings every now and than. Finally i saw a great blessing. Yes KJ, i found someone who is as lame as me. She is not losing in lameness man. That makes me want to blame Jacky Wu. Can you come up with new jokes. I'm not able to be as lame as before already. Ok. I think i have to concentrade on my projects now instead of being lame. I'm thankful of being lined up with her and standing near her before presentation but lameness can wait till saturday choir day. Till than i still have asp.net to complete and there is not enough time. Chop chop no more slacking.

If not i won't even get my B+, every sem also need 3 subject to have a B+ is not it's difficult to enter into Uni. I think need to buy my way in already or maybe in the future after army can enter if the admission for poly to Uni is increased. Today was rather exciting. Waking up late(which felt great after 6 days of work). I finally lvled up for maple after playing for 2 weeks. Little by little gaining bit by bit. I can now say i'm lvl 40. which is still a long way from getting to lvl 48 and changing my char's appearance. Well. Slowly play la. As i do project also need some break time. I have not played Dota for a long time. Sick of not playing such games with my church friends. My skills sure lag like hell. I think i go in straight ticket to town in 10 sec with golds missing if i play with them now. Oh well. It's just for awhile.

Oh well.... Forget about it projects are more important now.
Yeah ok... Next i was so tired i think i fell asleep and drooled with my mp3 switch on. I seriously dislike learning French but i do like the sound of it. So i played some music and lay on the desk and suddenly i just close my eyes and had peaceful rest. I hate sundays. The sound of piano being played and billard balls being wacked around. Sick man. Oh well.... God's blessing for having an irritating sister can be a good thing as well. I'm getting lack of sleep already, oh well.

The hymns being shared today was lousy for me since i was shaking although little but still shaking which causes discomfort and forgetfulness to kick in. Got a ride by Bro N, and i was feeling so lost man when i alighted. I just keep walking on and on till i found a bus stop which had a 55 bus passing throught it while i waited for taxis. I was so sick of waiting. Taxis with no passenagers just wouldn't stop and kept going on. So i took a bus home at the sight of it. Lol. I thought God thank you so much. When i saw a bus that can bring me directly to my house footstep approaching the bus stop. Man. I was thinking of the wrong bus stop i just couldn't get it right. I couldn't take that bus home but of course there were other buses that can enable me to go home. I need to do some planning on how to get home after going to TK in the future. Well at least until i get my driving license. Oh yeah M lost her HP and went back tracking her footsteps before getting her HP back. Worried i messaged Bro N to see if he can help her but they met up already. Anyway Thank God everything is fine. Ok i have to sleep early now. Got school tomorrow. Nitez.
God Bless.
Shannon.

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
11:53 pm

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A service in Adam, oh man it's like woah... ok. I don't know you, i have no idea who are you and i don't bother knowing you. So many unfamiliar faces. Guess there are a huge batch of younger generations after transferring to sembawang. Many which i do not know. Many that isn't in the choir. Singing in choir for months in adam and still i do not know all that is in the choir group not even the sisters standing beside or the sister in front of me. The guys on the other hand i just know a few and mostly their names only. So it isn;t a problem of coming to church more often or not. In the first place do i really have no interest in knowing people and talking to them ? I do not wish to talk much and reveal secrets of mine such as grades which i have already exposed today. Talking more may make more mistakes, cause more pain and insult other without knowing it. What is worst is typing online where one can talk freely without the respect force field which prevents one from insulting people. Sometimes not thinking before you speak or say something maybe bad. Since usually crap enters my brain as i start talking about something. Telling a lame joke is my basic instinct.

Anyway today super funny. I was filling nothing when i entered the waiting room, before i was lead to the battle grounds but as the moments drag. I felt the same pain in my stomach, as if the temperature dropped to subzero in an instant. Fortunately talking to this sister. Ehhh... Maybe i should call her brother since she wants to be called that way. The tallest "brother" within the sisters. Funny she made me laugh so much i forgot about the freezing stomach and somehow i felt relax without stress. Unfortunately the sharing was bad. I was rumbling like a fool. Super scared, when i see Preacher S.C. look at me i just froze. Fear griped me, strangling the life out of me. For a moment i lost my breath filling so breathless and my mind was totally disoriented i didn't know where i was singing and sang 111(high do) which is super high instead of 555(so), lucky for me my voice was covered up so no fear. He's reiatsu is too strong, he has overpowered me. Just a glance can cause my body to tremble, just like Ichigo when he first saw Zaraki Kenpachi the captain of the 11th division. Without even shinkai and bankai he can already cause fear in the hearts of others.

Lol. Too much animations, my data in my head is corrupted with such cartoons. Oh yeah it was super funny. KJ was walking she almost fell, asking if she wanted to play domino she laughted and almost fell again. It was super funny, like a girl in the comics who keeps falling down and making a clown out of herself somehow a clown reminds me of patrick from spongebob. Lol. The 2nd time she almost fell i was totally shocked but my instant reaction is reach out to grab items before they fell no matter how sleepy i am i still can catch things which i accidently hit but the main point is still KJ falling so let's get on with it. Luckly she didn't fall.


Surprizingly i didn't chat much with V today. Lol. Usually chat with her like crazy one. Today like no mood lei. Sian. Haiz... I really unlucky today. Walk out half way my formal shoe spoilt sia.. I was dragging the shoe and when i walked across the traffic light the base of the shoe just fell off. I thought it should be a girl whose shoe is to be damaged walking around the road and faints in the middle of the road which is always shown in korean dramas. Oh well. For nothing spend $8.20 on cab fee. So waste money. I still blame God why never protect my shoe for 30 mins when i reach home than spoil while crossing the road, lol that was in the heat of tireness and anger. I was wrong to think like that so i apologist later on when i reached the bus stop. People do speak words they do not meant when they are angry. Oh well. At least brother KJ brighten up my day. Lol. If you see this post somehow don't kill me, you say you are a brother one. Ok moving on.

Oh yes today sermon was about church. Yes to be stones gathering around church every saturday or to build up the church with those stones. I was thinking i should be the floor which is the most useless but than without the floor how can people walk ? Without a roof how can you support the 2nd floor and be a shelter for the top floor ? Without being a window would your building be venterlated and wouldn't it look like a cold cell without windows ? Every single part of a building is important thus everyone has a use and a function... Never think that you are not important, it's just that you are not being used in the right area. So find an area where you are good in and glorify God. You may not be good at preaching so try giving letters which the church have. Thus you do not have to speak much but the person can ask you more questions so you can answer them. That way you are preaching in your own way. The main thing that hit me was are you an event member or a regular member ? Coming during events only or as a regular who goes to everything. Seriously words like this shot straight like an arrow. Every sermon i go to is always on a question i'm troubled with or a warning to wake me up. Maybe that's why i try to go for classes instead. Well so as not to be ashame anymore i should shoot myself and change right ? Those are the standard and model answers for every question. Oh well. Gotta have an early night going to buy formal shoes if not i cannot look presentable tomorrow. I would die a terrible death, firstly it's an act of betrayal for me to run at the last min and secondly it's a chance i'll miss to glorify God. I might not have such a chance in the future. As sister YT said, not anyone can stand on stage and sing to glorify his name. Just like talking to God face to face, that would be a great honour. Ok. Nitez. Gabatte kudaisai. Tomorrow will be a better day. Believe that God will guide. Miracles do happen, it's just whether you believe in it or not. Faith like a mustard seed can move mountains. Lol(put your labtop screen pics as a mountain than you move it around ..... Those are jokes to kill your brain cells cos i like it. Thx you for reading it).

Shannon

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
1:21 am

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Saturday, July 14, 2007

To all friends,

I've recieved a few comment on how i write my blog. So starting from my next post i shall not write like these anymore. ANyway for the past few days, i was busy with my project when my friend asked me to play maple. Ho ho ho.... brings back memories, ever since my account got hacked i rarely got the chance to play maple. Instead i played GE and other games like heroes. Unfortuanately GE is gonna be using the WOWC way of playing, which is pay to play. Sick man. Oh well, anyway i've lost interest in the game already. It's rather boring after you play it for some time. Once you reach lvl 45, you don't feel like playing. The place you see is crowded and you dun stand a chance in surviving in a place with nobody to help you out. Thus it won't be fun without friends playing it as well but $79.90 for 6 months is really not worth for me to pay since i need to concentrade on my project for now and 6 months of play time means 6 months of high eletrical bills.

Oh well, time passes so fast. I have 3 more weeks to hand in 2 major project and 1 project next week. Time is not on my side. Thus i have to speed things up with lesser sleep. Many things have happened these few days but i fail to think if the devils know of God's plans and are disrupting it now. Is it possible to be so lucky that of all weeks my friends do not come to school this week ? Calling me every week and not calling me this week ? Is it the devils or just such a lucky week for them ? Sms will not work, calling with no reply. Messages on MSN says that they are busy, and you know they saw your messages but refuse to type anything back for 2 hrs. Why must plans be thwarted ? Why must salvation be so hard to find ? Why must people be chosen ? So many questions just fills my mind although i know the standard answers. I'm so disappointed, that i'm so powerless. I can do nothing to fight the devils, i have no power at all. I thirst for power, i want to chase them away. I want to inspire my friends to come to church to at least have a look before deciding to walk away at least i can fill relieve that he has walked away from God and one day God might bring him back.

I'm shocked to hear that being busy is an excuse for men to not date. I'm really bsuy and i have no interest in dating at the moment. Peer pressure, it's evil. Why must i be despo for women when i can't even support myself ? If i can support myself, naturally i will get someone i love and marry her. Best if it's within the Lord. Unfortunately i have liked none at the moment but still i must know more to get to know them and maybe in the future God might help me chose one and i might actually fall for her. Friends if you have read this stop asking me to get a Gf. It's giving lots of pressure, something i shall not want right now.

Lastly today i was smiling like a mad man. Suddenly i was reminded of Joel asking me to work in church during my 6 months holiday, asking him how much was the pay he replied that. Store up your treasures in heaven. Lol. I smiling even wider when i was reminded that Glenn was asked the same question with the same reply which really made me smile like a insane person from mental hospital. Luckly i don't have a clue on who are the girls laughting at me or else i'll be totally embrassed. Oh well as usual i went out with my ex-schoolmate for bubble tea but the shop once again was not open. Jst ended my chat with Joel and told me about the whole church working thing, didn't get much of a response oh well.... what can i say maybe our friendship is just like that i never grows nor does it die... I can't believe i don't miss him at all. Maybe it's because of school. Oh well. If you are wondering why i change my display pics on msn, it's because Joel asked me if i had a more Macho pics, since the pics i was using was rather kiddish. I just took a pics of myself on my bed and posted it right away. I wonder if my teacher asked me to do such things will i do it right away. Oh well, no time to think about that. Right it's getting late. Gotta Go. There is still choir presentation tomorrow, i still can't get the lyrics right. Just test my luck once more and sleep. Hopefully tomorrow God will guide and teach me the way. Nitez.
God bless.
Shannon

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
12:41 am

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Saturday, July 07, 2007

Dear friends,
I wonder why i need to post this addition to my blog. I had a really dumb question that was asked by someone i know. Yes. The person asked "Why is there bible study every week?" in a way that is trying to say why must it be done on a weekly basis. Before i answer a stupid question such as that, Why must you breath air? How was you lungs made in such a way that you need air? Why must you be a child of God? Do you have the duty of being a messager of God? Do you have the knowledge to spread his words? IF you have enough, can you possible say you can do the job in your current situation? If you can't get this message i'm telling you. I think you really have to wake up soon. Another stupid question, Why never message us information on bible study. It's because i asked everyone the week before in advance and i had an overwhelming response of oks. If you were made in charge of doing this i'm sure you would not get back with each other. Due to the projects i have i too dun have much time to get back with you guys. So please make an effort like vic to confirm every week. Oh yeah and please give me your status on staying overnight and not just ask if there is any bible study. Unless there is any event happening in church there will always be a bible study. Yes we do have school and i want to say that unless we are interested in coming i find there is no point in forcing people to go. So let your yes be yes and your no be no. If you have reached such an age and is still unable to make a decision for yourself, you need rebuking and not awaken i guess you have not pick up the call.
Lastly i want to say to God and Bro N, about the BS, i'm so sorry for what i have done and should have done but did not do. Truely i wish to apologist for my mistakes and i will never make such a stupid mistake again. As not only do the people have faults that i'm blaming them but i do have my faults as well and i should have the responsibility to prevent such a thing from happening thus i have the most to be blamed for. Although i do not wish to admit them openly but in my heart i know i am wrong.

In the past when us gang saw SK we always kept quiet and stay slient the moment he entered, he made a big change for the better and not one of us kept up with him. Instead of catching up we were like he is becoming so holy. I think that is what i regrate the most is not getting to know him more and work for God. I should have thought of this long ago. It is not him that is holy, it is we that are in our old sinful ways thus he looks holy. If on that day we were to see God we would die from his holiness. The strong bright lights shining from his face would blind our eyes. Thus we should like like SK and keep the word of God thus he would not be claimed as holy but moving a step closer to what God wanted us to be. We should not have gave him the slient classroom treatment as that will make him more uneasy and give him the impression that we are not willing to be friends with him. I must learn from my past. Never to make the same mistake, if the person is weak in faith will he be coming to church after that? How will he feel? A person without a friend will not love and enjoy going out to places alone. Imagin you put serene alone i think she will die, unless there is a shopping center around her. OK she is a bad example but if i were to be alone. I think i rather stay at home and do nothing instead of going around and seeing people together and having fun. Thus we should learn something out of past experience so that we should not fall again.

Yes i think after watching 300 i learnt something new. We should be proud of ourself. Spartens are fierce and brave warrior not backing down. They will never surrender and they will never give up. Even if there is only 1 person left, they will stil fight on. What more us, the True Church. If you believe that you are in the true church would you be proud enough to admit it. Yes you may keep quiet and not say a word when this question is posted or even fake that you didn't hear that question. If we are in a group maybe our guts are strengthen but remember are you alone ? Never are you alone, God is there to back you up. So admit you are his child. The way to the truth. Yes this will take your opponents aback as he will take some time before he recovers and post you another question to shaken your faith. Stay firm never back down. A line that the spartens say "Take everything but give nothing." Take their attention and their faith, their interest to know God but give nothing to the devils. As every thing of God's will be opposed by the Devils. That is why we shall never give our faith to the devil making us weaker. Take every people being controlled by the devils and give the devils nothing to take to hell along with them.

I believe that eveyone is a possible solider of God. We need to give everyone a chance to be more convince in their abilities and God will guide them to the road their are planned to take. YOU may be the tool of God(you should be honoured) to bring a person to church and he or she may become the next preacher. The future is bright just thinking of what you can do for God, how us sinners can be in glory with the Lord. To be a general and lead the soliders to battle onwards we shall proceed cutting down them down with THE WORDS OF GOD. For guys in singapore we have to do NS(national service) but in God's world we all have to do SS (spiritual service). NS you have to serve 2 years by force thus not much people like that idea but when you go in you remembered how you suffered together(this information is given by working pals and other friends which i have talked to) so why won't you got for SS ? We have already gone through 3 months of it during theolo. Why not be better than NS? How can we lose to the world? We should dedicate it for a life time. Which will definately not happen as when we have a child how do we continue this? Thus i would like to share that we should do this now without turning back. I know there is a time we like to have a break but we should be prepared for the day of the next coming. You don't want God to say, have you read my words? Did you pray daily? Why do you call me father when your heart is not with me?

If you have a friend you like would you not see him daily? If you wish to chase your future wife or husband would you not want to see each other so much that is hurts to be apart? God who is so loving how much have we hurt him and cause him pains by sinning? Is that how we repay his love? To forgive our sins and look after us each day. When you become parents would you like your child to hate you and not follow your words? To be a person who does not remember you after you have forgiven him and gave him all your love, when you call them they reply saying "Who are you? Are you not my father by name?" Would you not be furious and not open the door to the house for him? Would you still give gifts to your child if he behaves in such a way? i think i won't unless he truely repent. Yes the saying an eye for an eye is true. If you seek forgiveness, forgive others. Thus we shall never act like such a child. No matter who we are and what we do. No matter how foul our mouth is or how our attitude stinks, we have a good nature in us. Why not use that good nature and work on it more?

It pays to be poliet. Instead of saying shut up, you can say could you please shut up? Please is always a very important hit in our life. And my friend was joking since we are friends i won't be so rude to you so i'll just say could you please f*** off, thank you so much. Thank you and please does brighten up your day but please do not use my friend's example. The person won't know if he should wack you or be happy. It's a bad example for us christains as well but to make a smile on your face i coded this example. For those who truely read everyword i have to say, thank you. If you find something is wrong with what i said and you wish to discusse it with me, do tell. For i do not wish to put a bad name to others by writting in such a way. This is just from my point of view. So there is no right or wrong in what i say.

Oh yeah i lastly want to talk about this person who i fought with, lol. Actually i fought with many people so let you guess but this person reminds me of me. Yes if you are reading it you might be shocked. I had a very bad temper in the past and if you ask me now i have toned down but still am just as bad tempered. I used to never forget about a person and what bad he has done to me. I hated the person to the core and never forgave the person. Even if he did me wrong or i did him wrong, it's all the same to me at that time. We did not have the same ideas and thus we are enemies. During my weakest time when i was in a cold war with someone. SK told me something, something which i will never forget. If you were in the wrong will you ask for forgiveness and apologist? Yes i will sure do that the next day when i've cooled down. Then he asked why not forgiven him and apologist to him if he is in the wrong? At first when i heard this i was like thinking are you crazy he did me wrong and i forgave him is considered good but to apologist to him!!! That was misson impossible, i'm not God why should i be so giving? But truely will you have less troubles and enemies if you do so. Not only that but to show that you are a christian you have to show the glory of God in your actions you must have his characteristic. Just like today's morning service would the devil fight among themselves? If they do not why must brothers and sisters fight? How than will the kingdom be united? How than will the fort withstand the force of the evil one? To not forgive and continue to fight on will give alot of chance for the evil ones to work on us. Thus we should not stay angry for long, anger is also a sin thus do you wish to add meanless sins for nothing? Words and anger will die down sooner or later but a friend might be lost forever. Sins will always be recorded. A crime will always be in the criminal's record. Thus let us not add extra punishments when we are judged. Forgiveness is the key. Don't talk about people helping. We ourselves must make an effort to forgive. Is it nice to see each other and not speak to one another? Think... Is it worth it? If your boy/girlfriend runs aways with another person, maybe i have no excuse to say that you should talk to the person after what he has done. But words of evil intent should be forgotten and good intent should be listened with the heart. You never know when God will use a person to send information to you. It maybe in a form of sms, e-mail, letter, words, books, ect.... Anything maybe his message that he wants to pass on to you may effect you very lives. The problem is would you open your heart to try to pick up his messages? Well guess i said enough for this week right. So that's that. Nitez. God bless.

Shannon

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
9:18 pm

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Monday, July 02, 2007

Dear friends,
Been seriously bored of school. Went to school this morning and the teacher askes questions that are seriously easy to answer yet no one can answer them. The wise thing to do is keep slient and wait for the teacher to answer unless she calls your name. Lol. This is the typical way of running away from trouble. Oh well. Seriously i have no idea how "good" friends from outside are. If they need you they message you like crazy. If they dun they throw you aside and leave you alone. Lucky for church, i have friends i can trust my life to. Entrusting them with the time i have with them. Although sometimes we talk crap but we know we will be friends forever.

Anyway after the lecture i had a 2 hour break i decided to do some planning than than work on the bible. Can't wait to increase my bible knowledge, my first step to getting close to my goals and fulfilling my promise i made to him.My friend D came over and bugged me since no one went to lunch with him. The crude remarks were made as always. He said no wonder there was no dark shadow standing beside me and that i can be a preacher already which i a load of crap. How can i become a preacher just be reading a few verses but what he said later made an impact to me. He said knowing me is good because he had a feeling than i can lead him to the light and save me. I have no idea if it's the truth or not but those words struck me like an arrow into my brain. I was stunned and i couldn't say anything. Somehow that was true but can i ever be a useful messager ? I can never know but if i don't try i won't see result and i may not help God to save another soul.

Later on i went for lectures but it was so boring i pratically went to read the book before i chatted with my friends. True friends are those who stay with you no matter what and truely do you get good friends when you are young. As when you grow older friends are people you can make use of. That's what i see in poly. Rarely do you get good friends that will stick with you and watch you back. Usually they make use of you and stabs you in the back before they smile and act as if nothing happens. This is the world that we live, there is nothing we can do to stop that but we can prevent ourselves from being one of them. Love will conquer all.God is Love thus will we need is just God and naturally man will love you as time goes by. When they see the good in you that is the good in God. We are the reflection of God's goodness thus we must go on with God's natural in our every action. To obey his commandments will come by naturally when we shine with the glory of God.

I miss the days in glory, when preacher C said that we were on mount Zion and have been talking to God. Thus our faces shone with the glory of God. I didn't believe that i can be that holy at first but when i walked out to the world and watch the tv and the people talking. Yes i do believe that for once i was actually talking to God like Moses. The question now is can i be fit enough to be called a favourate of God. So much so that i can talk to him face to face. Even if it's in my dreams that will make me a happy man to die anyday with nothing to complain about as i have seen someone who has created us, someone not anybody and see and talk to for any reason. A King, a Father and my Lord. How honoured will one be when a servent manages to see his King and speak to him ? If his king were to remember him and call him daily to server by his side. To adorn himself with armour and fight for his king, to destroy the enemy so that the Glory of the king can rise and shine brightly to every piece of land in the world. Every creature will bow before him, too ashame to see his holiness. Every man shall fall on his face too afraid to be judged for his sins.

Ponder and reflect, every word may be a message from God. You never know when he may send his message through you friends. Thus listen to people as you never know when God and his angels may brush pass you. God Bless and have a wonderful week ahead.

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
8:48 pm

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Sunday, July 01, 2007

Dear Friends,

It's been a long time since i last posted something so this is what i have been going throught for the past few weeks. Yes, i was busy with Driving. Driving a manual Car, will make you have more concentration. Coordination between your hands and legs. The brake, Accelerator and the Cluth. Oh man, just when i had the hang of things my brain shuts down and i felt like sleeping. I sort of crap up the whole thing. I'm too scared to knock into people and cars. I don't want people to die, so i want to drive by myself. To learn it first but i guess it's God's plan for me to learn on the open road to gain as much exp. as possible so i can lvl up. Lol. Can wait to grow to lvl 100 by next month. I wish i can say life is good in school but no. It isn't one good. My project mates are not coming to school. They refuse to meet for project meeting, I seriously hope God has a good plan for me. I want good grade to pull up my GPA. it's dropping due to my java. I need to make it grow again and my current grade wil never enable me to go to Uni. Every friday there will be my driving lessons and than bible study in church.Something which i now look forward to alot. Yes learning the words of the Lord brings great joy. Not only singing praises gives joy but reading his words changes your life. I skipped Choir today. I was so sleepy that i woke up it was around 1. Lol. I was too slack to go so i went back to sleep since i was already late. Guess i'll have to apologist to FATHER.

Yes, people are possessive of their food, home, money but do they want God so much like it's nothing that can ever compare earthly material. Do they feel willing to give up everything in exchange for God ? When there was a rumour of God coming at the year 2000, many people sold their possession to the needy and helpless. Do you find them good in nature ? Or just like the ones being scorned my Jesus ? Do you really think God will let you enter heaven when you sell everything only when he is coming ? God see your heart, your soul. When good will it do to the homeless children if they got their money on the last day. For years they have nothing and giving them something on the day before the last day won't let them have an enjoyable life. If i were those helpless people i would rather starve another day like i always did before i enter into my heavenly home with my Lord, not being someone who is caring for myself and care for others on the last day. How i feel our actions should be is stay the way you are. Do not do what you do just for others to see but do it everytime. Are we able to make our God in heaven happy and not sad. Everyday we make him sad, everyday we make him angry. Words of anger that erupts from our mouths makes him sad, sins we had done makes him angry. Our actions are all a reflection of bring a child of God. Which is why we call ourself Christians. If i ever get angry never let me stay this way till the next day, all my friends please help me to give me a word or 2 if ever that day happens.

Speaking of which many things has been said in the bible camp which is very refreshing. Thus i want to continue with this no matter how tired i am i want to go to the temple of God and hear his words as they are life to me. I wish there are more people who wish for that to happen. Thank the Lord for having people who are more fervent than me and yes i am not strong and i wish to be strong. People ask me why do i wish to compare TK and adam Choir so much. I have one answer. That is to be better. They say it's all for praising God. But i also have 1 thing to say would you like to do better to glorify his name or just say as where you are ? Yes both are just as good but one has your heart and soul in it. The other is just putting an effort not creating the effort. Should i be a preacher ? I hate people saying that if you go church every week you can be a preacher, that is so not true. It's simply uttering rubbish that comes to thought. Such blabbling causes anger to me after i have explained it to him he still say it, but i have no idea why i feel so angry. Why should i be angry in the first place. It's just a comment and seriously it's not a bad thing what's so bad of being a preacher ? In fact i have made so many promises, darn.... I should not have done that but yes i have made promises to God to serve him and be a preacher. In fact i now do not have the heart to be a preacher, i am unworthy to serve him in such a way without the ability to do so as well. Thus i wish to think this carefuly over the years and let God guide my path. It's a road that i cannot turn back if i step on to it. I don't know what to do now, but maybe i'll just stick with SK for awhile and hopefully if God permit both of us may be preachers in the future. But i really want to be a good christain myself. Upon hearing Josh say he wants to be a better christain makes we so moved. Touched that i have never ever thought of writing it in black and white so i cannot backed out. Embrassed that it took me so long to realise this. Sad to have made my Lord wait for such a long time. Yes i want to change i know i'm very stuck to my habits but i wish to change, i was shy to admit my bad side. So now i shall go all out. Like what BW said. You cannot be shy when praying just because you dun have HS doesn't mean you should stop praying so hard. Instead you should fight on and pray harder since you don't have it. If you are shy, when will you ever get the HS ? Thus i must fight on, i must believe he will give it to me. I must be bold and preach his words. I must push myself from being chained to this world to move to a world where i am not bounded by anything. I wish to pull my friends, the people i love and hopefully the people i hate as well. Into this world where God has already made.

Lastly i wish to talk about the school bible study. It should have been made earlier since there was a large batch of students going to poly since we are all in year 3 now it's like so difficult to make meeting possible. Yes i am free in terms of schedule but no i'm not free in reality. I'm glad it's being set up but i fear it will not be successful after the year 3 leaves in the up coming year. In another 9 more months the 3rd years will be gone and will this plans be thwarted ? Complaining will not do anything so i have to accept this plans for now and do my best to make it a success. I apologist in advance to my friends from school, that if in the future i do not have time for you. I will try my best to keep in touch with you and go out as soon as i have the time to do so. Thus till than we will have to part. Ok i shall end my long essay for now. May God bless and keep us all safe.

Shannon

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
9:06 pm

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