The Forgotten Land

Monday, April 21, 2008

Hey. Sorry it's been a long time since i last blogged. Hmm.... Lots of things happened during this past few weeks. Mostly stuck glued to the computer just right after church. Oh well but enough of that there is still things that happened. Like medical check up. Meeting soliders with sucky attitude. It's like you have to use common sense to manage to get through the bloody maze. No one will say a single thing. Anyway i'm waiting for my letter to go NS... Gotta finish my project and pass up a new one with improved coding...

Anyway i gotta sleep now.. It's been so long since i last slept so early. But still i have to force myself to sleep after this.

I'll just blog a little.

It just struck me that people's words might strike the bulb and light it up. Like may God remember your work. LOL. What work ? For me working for God is repaying everything he has done for us. But since we are incapable, please give a call to God and ask him for help. In the end we kick God away and say "I'm the one who did the work. Now give me credit." LOL. Human nature. How sad. So of course God remembers our work, he was the one who helped us. Instead of praising the person we should instead praise God.

Credit is all we think of. How to be the best. How to be outstanding so we can be noticed. How to impress my boss. Or even how to impress the girl i like. Useless things. Things of the world. Ha... Funny to think i was so obesses with such things. Girls. What are they. We should not fight for them. God will just give them to us. Anyway don't bother God with such things. Our counter parts will be given a chance to meet us.

Somebody told me to be a man to say it out. LOL. I was angry at first but now i see. But still hahaha. Yep. Thank you for that someone's advise. I have told the person already but not the one you expected. It was someone else. Life is sweet. Now is pray to God not to fall into sin. That is more important that pray uselessly for the opposite party. God will answer but what i want is not for myself. What can i do to make God notice me. Not man. Not my counter part ?

God a person i can not understand and i will never understand. How in the world is He so perfect ? Well.... Don't ask me. I'm puzzled with that question. But i know what in the world is true love. You cannot explain it in words. It's a feeling of extreme happiness. You feel no burden. True love is something only God can give now. So far that is the love i can feel. Straight from the heart. Something warm. The more warm you feel the more you know you are in His favour. Parents can give you love from the bottom of their heart but true love may not be there anymore. Will they die for you ? True love is dying for someone you do not know ? Wrong. We can Never have true love. True Love is what God has given. He died to save people. Which means everyone. Every living creature that walk on 2 legs and talk human language.

So problem solved. On to next question which so far my parents cannot answer me. How to be filled with the HS ? Funny for me to ask this question but i don't think asking by praying to God only will do any good. Since we have decided to walk the path of the light. We have to continue walking forward not backwards. I guess i'll have to quit my duties to adam and stay fully at sembawang.

During BS that was this passage about drinking milk and eating solid food. Bro N says we(Nah and i) have ate solid food already but for me. I don't think so. If i'm eating solid food is because i want to serve. I have a zeal for working for God. But if i have the zeal to work for God won't my whole mind and soul be for God ? I have not made myself in that spirit. To work like hell for God in order to get away from hell and make God happy. Ha. Funny to be saying this but... Yes. i believe i'm drinking milk. I'm a slave to games. Games. Ha. I feel so stupid and weak. LOL. For a game i can rush back from church and play it. I pray 10 mins. I can play 10 hours. If God was a game, i think i'll be the most loyal child of his. But He isn't.

Some how i feel i have put the chains back onto my body. The devils are my master. I am his slave. For game i can lose my life. Be a zombie. I wonder how i managed to get abit of my life back. But now i hope i can continue with a life. LOL... Just need to pray more. Sin to go away... Far far away. If he comes i go. If i go closer i'll tie my leg to God's leg that way i can never go close to Sin. But i fear the day i untie the the medium and cause myself to fall. I know God won't let me. But i will left myself fall once again. Sinking into the depths of hell. In this world. No matter how lonely you feel God is there to make lonely less lonely. In hell. Imagin you are locked in a cold black room. Everyday you cannot talk to anyone, and you are tortured every single moment. Both mentally and physically. You think war is horrible. Wait till you see hell.

I may see things in a bad way. But i know that is the worst case. I do not ever want that path of life to befall upon me. Ever. Anway it's late. Gotta sleep. Sayanara. In 30 days my account will expire, i'll be like a drug addict. Wanting to play WoW. So please kill that part of me soon. Going out and playing less will be a good way to start. So i'll work on my freaking project go to school if i have to. Actually i have to. So yeah..... Just make sure i don't get into air force or navy. Commando or police. No other choice. LOL.. Go GO GO... Byez.

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
2:16 am

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About Me

Crossroads

Memories Of The Wind

Whispers Of The Forest

Whistle While You Walk

The Trodden Road

Memories of the forgotten

Monday, April 21, 2008