The Forgotten Land

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Today was the worst day of my life. I felt so lonely. Thanks dad for speeding. LOL. Today was fun feeling the pressure of that semi drift. I didn't get enough sleep. And i can't seem to sleep much even now. I guess i'll KO soon. Dad did not go for his OT in order to pick me to the PA HQ. Waited for an hour outside the guard house. I was in attention mode, ready to impress. Even with 4 hours of sleep it's not enough. From 1 am to 5 am i slept well but suddenly i guess the excitement kicked in so i wasn't able to go back to sleep even after i refuse drinking water. Dad wanted to wake me up but was surprised to see me all changed and ready to leave the house. Wee... Impressed my dad. Not bad huh for someone who sleep late and wakes up late.

Anyway the whole thing was so boring after the waiting there was the weight and height test. Should not have went to jacks to eat such a fattening meal with mom. Should not have eaten so much prata and all that my weight went back to 81 kg. Damn, i'm so sad. I lost weight but gain it all back in a week. My pants noo.... I want to go back to 76 kg.... Arrr.... Damn. after the birthday party and all that i'm gonna run and do all the stupid keep fit exercises.

The people there were impressed by my conduct i guess. I kept saying thank you. For what i do not know. But the Mr. Stone police just won't smile and kept his stone expression. Tried to tell him a joke he stared at me. Sia la... So anti-social... I talk to the senior police officers also not so bad to me. Interesting fellow. Hope i get to meet you again during the next interview. I don't believe i cannot make you smile. LOL.

Another thing is that during the cycle moto test. LOL. Freaking funny. Guys please spread out your legs and touch your toes. Ok good. You there please do it again, everyone else recover. LOL. So funny, that guy arr... and it's not the end. There is more... Everyone clutch and release your hands with palms facing outwards... Ok... Now do it inwards... You again... Could you please try that one more time. Lastly please do marching, you guys know how to march right ? Ok begin.... Everyone okay... Mr. could you do that again... (2nd time he marches) Ermm... Do you know how to march ? You lift your left hand when your right foot steps forward and you swing it the opposite direction. Ok ? Right, now start marching again....(3rd time) Have you marched before ?
Guy : Not really.
Mr.Stone : Ok i'll show it once to you. Now do it again...
Guess why he keep on doing it. LOL. Cos he was playing dino catching. Or maybe acting like barney. He lift he right hand and right foot and walked like barney. LOL. Funny. That joker made me laugh like mad after i surpress my laughter and went to the toliet. I made a mistake when he said ok feet together, now squat fully. I cannot do that. Damn. I not used to putting my feet together. Die gotta train a little.

Another joker. LOL, people applying for the police are really interesting. LOL. Ok move your hands in a circular motion... Good. Now your hands in a forward motion... Now move in a backward motion... LOL... Got one joker move one hand backwards one hand forward. Made me fed up. He still wait awhile and think on what he is to do and made the same mistake. What the hell just swing both hands together and you won't get it wrong. Dun care what position if he says wrong than try the other position. Oh yeah this advice is for those who cannot get it for those who can please do not follow such stupid advice. But finally he got it right. Super funny. I think my batch took the longest to finish up our check up. LOL. Bloody lame.

When they called us to strip to our under pants i kept starring at one guy, his body looks freaking nice, i like his muscles man. But he keep starring at my xxx... That sicko... Make me so uncomfortable... I keep starring at his when he stared at mine. Make him feel like he is a shame to all men. Tried to force some muscles out to make my body look good. But cannot win him la. I force only can force my chest to look bigger. My stomach got the curve of a freaking girl. So sick... play too much Wii already. Body abit funny looking. Oh well. They called us to strip to our under pants and face the back. Which was a freaking mirror so we admire ourself and each other's body. LOL. Actually i see who's one is better i guess only that guy beside me beat me. The rest more overweight than me. LOL.

Told you right don't eat so much donut. Like the american cops keep eating donut so fat. All the robbers will rob you or the bank you are working at cos they see you so fat cannot chase after them. LOL. Ok that was mean but lol.... Funny... I also fat la... But not as fat as you... Muahahahaha... Ok seriously i gotta stop this...

Anyway kanna hunthumb by Mr.Stone, why never bring O lvl cert. But i thought the message ask me to bring my latest cert. Which is my diploma. Than you can remember your O lvl results. Yes 18 points. What are the subject grades ? Sir i took my O lvls so long ago like that part of my brain got dust liao, can't remember sia. You think it's funny is it ? I'm not joking with you. Bring it during the next interview. Yes sir, Sorry sir.

Interesting fellow, i think he not so stone one just want to show that police cannot be messed with. In fact police rather crappy, my bro-in-law. Hahahaha. Ok dun talk bad about him. He is my life saver. I think i put my full trust in him. Although he is a joker most of a time, i don't know what to say man. He is the best, but i'm better. LOL. Anyway back to the serious point. I think i need him most when i'm in trouble. I makes me feel very safe. I was sweating like hell. You guys need to submit 2 character referees, they must not be your family members or relatives, they must be working and earning money, they must not be serving NS. Screwed up man. All my friends are all my age what. Who so good can meet up with people that is not related to you and earning money.

I sweat like hell sia, i was so worried. Who do i turn to ? Than My bro-in-law did the best thing ever. He helped me find people to help me be my character referee. Sniff sniff... I forgot i'm not related to his brother in anyway and i know him quiet abit. Next i thought of Bro Nic. Wooo.... Win already, i got 2. Actually wanted to put Bro ben but ermm.... nvm dun say.... He was willing to help actually but i sort of... anyway i found a subsitution and my problem is settled.

Later it was the dreaded 1 hr and 30 mins break. I was soooo bored. I started messaging ZX. I think i message wrong person cos he never reply to my first message. Hmm... Wonder who i send it to.... LOL... nvm... And vic dun write on my tag board about the situation you know. Dun say anything it will cause my life to die very bad ok. My heart will shatter like glass, and hurt everyone when they step on it.

Anyway as i was saying i tried to waste 40 mins just sitting down for lunch and doing nothing. The malay food super fattening i got like freaking full and can't finish up my meal man. But since got 40 mins i slowly ate the food. After that still got 50 mins. What to do ? Haiz. I went down to the toliet to wash my face. Before heading to the freaking window. No freedom like prisoner like that if you leave the building your application will be terminated. Sian sia. You only got a one way ticket into this building and will not be allowed in here the moment you leave this place. So the only thing i could do was to look at the small mini like 20 big steps garden. Oh yeah the 20 big steps is walking around the garden not one stretch. LOL. So you can imagin how small it is. Sian.

As i was leaning on the glass panel i hear a funny sound. It was a bee. Woo... I was scared at first, will it sting me ? But i was too bored so i played with the bee, i tried blowing it away and it gave me that dun mess with me sound. LOL. So i stopped for like 5 mins before i got bored and blew at it again. LOL. We became good friends, to think that i wanted to kill it in the beginning. He entertained me for 35 to 40 mins. LOL... Thanks bee... Better than ZX who dun bother about me. LOL. And he not sleeping some more. Dun pick up my phone to chat with me or something. Tomorrow i guess will be a boring old day. Maybe something good might happen. I might get to go out. Have some fun.

Anyway the bee helped me wild away some time. I went in 10 mins early so i caught the bee in my hands and let it out of the building to thank it for entertaining me. The physcometrix test, i did the bloody test like 3 times this year, i'm freaking bored out of it. I won't be surprised i got full mark even after doing it so fast. It's so freaking common sense but the angry thing is that you sure have to use up 2 hours due to waiting for some slow people to finish up the test and shade the freaking paper. I could have finish the entire paper in an hour. 20 mins for the IQ test, 15 mins for the what is more important in life test, 10 mins for the crappy agree or disagree test, 10 mins for the true or false and 5 mins for the very dumb what you do when you are stressed questions.

Man... Waited 15 mins for the IQ test, Waited 20 mins for the other test. I remember cos i was starring into the air and shading my answers again and again until the shade cannot be any more darker. Police academy has nothing to look forward to except the pretty madam that conducted the physcometrix test. LOL. But than again this type of girl very common in poly. Just that put more mature make up and dress more formally. Pink is a sign of immaturity. LOL. I forgot someone else i know like pink. LOL. But lucky she not in singapore for the time being. You are childish old women. One leg closer in the coffin. I still 20 years old. :p Old granny.... Boo hoo hoo. LOL.

Anyway i dun want look at her so much, my future wife more important, so cannot flirt with such a woman. But than again should be friendly. So during the ten mins break talked to her about her job and how to get into that position lol... rubbish lor, i totally not interested in her job so boring. Sit for 3 hours every time to do stupid surveys. Than talk about her life and all that. At least flirt for 10 mins la. She too old liao. Hahahaha... Cannot reveal her age if not she kill me. But she very old... Older than me by lol.... Dun say la... Anyway tomorrow might forget about her liao. I can't seem to remember her face anymore. I guess that's why people say love is blind. LOL. Maybe not in this situation but hahaha... nvm... Dun say liao... Later people angry.

When i came back so freaking tired. Still wait for ZX sia... Bloody hell my body about to break liao. So i strip... LOL... In a way i stripped la. I took out the uncle's clothing i was wearing, i bought it like 8 years ago. Cool sia... Inside look so fashionable. I feel sad to lie to the police officers by not wearing my true cloths. Instead listen to my dad and comb a freaking ancient side parting, wearing my shirt like an uncle(no offensive but look like Jon), tucked in like a freaking ah pek. People see me on the streets wearing that will call me a freaking Ah Pek lor. Ah Pek Tim. Sian sia. My reputation in the police force is ruined.

Anyway this thursday will party like mad... My friends and i going Suki sushi for buffet.... actually i wanted to eat like 5 star cos it's cheaper and the weastern there is like way much better. Just that i want to wack everyone i see at the counter cos their attitude sucks big time. But their food is just so tasy so i don't give a damn. I'm sort of scared, if i fail this interview i let down my parents. If i pass this interview, i might not have time to go out with others. Both ways i stand to lose out. I'm just walking one step at a time. I never planned my moves correctly now i'm in such a fix. How do i balance friends, family ? Not to metion God's time which i have already settled. Now is rushing to meet friends. Maybe sat night go out with friends. Sunday morning go out with family for breakfast and some marketing and all that. I guess i have to book in to camp in the evening. 6 months leading such a stupid life.

Today i can resist but tomorrow will i still resist ? Tim, you need to grow up more. You need to stand firm to your decisions and make it clear to not only yourself but to others. Not wavering in spirit. Anyway i can feel it... I'm going to KO already. Nitez.

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
1:19 am

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Monday, September 22, 2008

I forgot to write about this. I was suppose to say this when i came back from church. Pr. CAQ. He made me stay awake although i keep yawning and about to snooze. I was thinking of his sermon. What was it that kept me thinking the coupled died for sinning but they were afraid after that ? They should rejoice when sinners are punished that way the village will not be corrupted. Instead they were afraid... Why is that ? It was so clear to me, the couple was not corrupted. It was the village that has been corrupted. The people feared death because they themselve have sinned against God.

That was the reason why. Was it a message encoded for the church ? I wish that was the case but not much people will pay attention and find out why. I believed that is the case. The last message i can't remember for morning service.

In the afternoon service there was this case of Saul who was once known as Paul, a person who loved god alot but didn't know he was acting against God by killing his people. He thought that getting rid of the Jews will equal getting rid of God's enemies. Hmm... The truth was on in him, but when he got blinded by the Lord's bright light what works would he have done if Aninnas had not gone to him. A normal believer who was filled with faith. He must have been worried sick, i'm going to a person who kills the believers of God. What am i to do ? God himself has asked me to go to him, will i be killed after i become a medium of God to restore his sight ?

Yet he went and followed God's will. What great courage. I have a good impression of him for that courage to step up. Maybe there is a hidden message in this sermon which i'm unable to pick up. Every sermon may or may not be good to the ears, but does that mean we do not hear ? Does that mean we do not change ? Each sermon piercing your heart is a good thing. It means you will have to change to be a better christian and love the Lord more.

Drinking may not be a bad thing but knowing not how to control and getting yourself drunk is a bad thing. As long as you do not make yourself a waste of space on this earth not by the sight of man but the sight of God, you are a blessing to Him. A person that might be the next moses, a person that delights the Lord so much that He will tell you "My child, My death on the cross for you was worth it."

Next would be the main topic that i want to say. To rejoice in saddness... I was doing the afternoon shift of ava so this testimonal will stay in my ears for a long time. The speakers were directly next to me so the blasting was rather painful to the ears but at least they were clear for me to hear. When a person has cancer, do we feel sad for him/her ? Why ? Is it out of pity or love for the person ? Most of the time people pity those that do not share the same benifits that they do so they soften their heart a little and give as little as they can. Love is equal to yourself. To be able to spend everything on yourself to be cured.

I was thinking as i heard the sad story, but was happy the person could be so strong. To rejoice in the Lord and seek His help everything when the person vomits during chemo, and injections. Pills to stop the cancer cells from spreading. Everyday it was a pain, it felt sad. I know what it feels. I have experienced that feeling before. Saddness, not the pain but i could see the pain on the face as she vomits. I cannot do a single thing but pad on the back and say words of comfort. Rushing maddly around the house to get water. Studying like mad to pass exams. I wonder was it during my O's. Or before that ? I was so angry with myself... Why did i play a fool and land myself in NA ? Yes i found friends, but i also found darkness. I'm lucky i woke up during the O's but i don't want to waste a year to wake up. I feel crappy. I need to make up for the stupid mistakes i have done during my younger days.

Rejoicing when you are sad. When your life is almost over. Is that possible ? Yes using textbook answer we shouldn't be sad at all. It is a test from God, maybe you will die and leave this world but ain't it better ? You can see your eternal father in heaven. Using the textbook which is what we should do, doesn't work when you are the one feeling the pain. You feel God is unfair, why must such a thing happen to you or your family. There is 2 path way after your initial anger. 1 is hate the Lord with all your heart and leave the church (which is what the devil wants and is laughing when you do so), 2 is to seek God and ask him for forgiveness in whatever wrong you have done and forgive the things your family have done in any way too offend the Lord. Believe with all your heart, because once you doubt it will not happen. I trust in your works, i have full faith in you. Next moment you ask him, you sure or not ? are you able to cure him ? Forget it la, i think you cannot do it. Go away.

Do you think a normal human will even help you ? Let's take God as a human, if you cannot tahan would a human be able to tahan ? God is better than us humans but don't hurt the Lord just for the moment of anger you are in. He doesn't have to help you at all. You are begging for a flavour not Him.

Anyway i cried after the sermon when Pr. CAQ said "Jesus died on the cross for us, the sour wine was given to numb his senses to let him have an easy death but he decided to bear the pain for us." I couldn't help but the tears in my eyes just forced itself out when he finished that sentance. That is my weak spot, when the person i admire has a new point that i didn't realise before was discovered. I felt so touched.

Anyway Glenn told me it's only human to listen to the testimonal and cry. No i felt human's suffering is nothing. These touching things tell of God's grace to us, but we deserve to suffer that is our punishment on this earth. The suffering of Jesus is not needed but yet He wanted to suffer for our sake. That is what i admire. That is why i cried. I died for the sake of people you do not know and save them. That is our Lord. That is why i believe and strengthen myself to live in his footstep.

The devil filling our heart is not the devils fault for he did not posses you. He did not control you to do such things, you were the one who chose to do so. You succumed into his words. To sin again God. I am guility for i felt stronger than before. Now i am nothing. I am weak. I remember before getting the HS i was so... So happy. So strong, when i got the HS, i got stronger, i felt like i can do anything. I felt so close to God. I felt the world can be destroyed with this body of mine. I do not care. I can rule over the devils but they can't do a thing. Yes at the moment they can't do a thing. But when you are at your lowest point they rob you of everything you felt about God. I can never be the same as before right now. I feel that i'm the worst person in this world. The greatest sinner. I have failed my Lord. And yet i cannot do a thing to change anything by myself. I admire others for their talents when they admire me, i find there is no point in admiring me. I am nothing compared to you. I keep trying to harden myself. To be cold, to not open myself so much. What if you betray me ? What if i get hurt again ? I went through it once with God and survive. Will i be able to do so again ?

I find life just miserable. Men's duty on earth is to live just to die in the end. Vainities of Vainities. I guess that's life for humans. Anyway my friend is here do keep him waiting for me too long. Byez. Oh yeah there is a soccer match after church service this saturday. See ya there. Young youth vs the older youth. Should i give chance ? No way. LOL. Dominate everyone. Only kids let them win abit so next time got challenge. Ganbatte. tomorrow's interview will make me sore into the skies. Wooo... Wednesday pack my room. Thursday celebrate like mad and friday play with my friends at church during the stay over. Saturdays soccer match of my life. Woo... Best. Ok. Byez.

Labels: Rejoice in saddness

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
4:06 pm

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I guess some people are wondering where i have been for the past few days. The usual staying in church ? Nope. I had alots of fun... The youth group should have been made long ago. I find it very attractive to stay in church and do such activities together.

I even ditched my sis appointment for a hair cut just to go and finish up my photo frame. I feel that if i am not going to church on other days i should just dedicate the whole of saturday just for church and not just run home like the other believers. Imagin talking to your father and just walking away the moment he finishes talking, how rude not to even play with him or talk to him.

It's fun to see, how guys have no talent in art. I'm used to having the computer do that for me. So i don't bother about being an artist. Oh well. I guess i need to work on that area now that i've come to a realisation of it. It was fun. Great fun.

For those who know what i'm talking about. I won't give up you hear me. I will continue my "art" next week. My beloved creation. I should have done such things long ago. It's so fun. Instead of always spending money and doing nothing together. Gaining weight by stuffing food down the throat all the time. Anyway seriously, i have some things to say and what i have saw disappoints me. Guess i know how God feels when he men sinned.

I wonder why this 3 days has changed me alot. I realised alot of things. About life, maybe even more than that. The matters in church. Many things. I want to be with the world. But seeing that the church is like that. I have no choice. I love my Lord more than the world and it pains me to see it in such a bleeding state.

I have to agree with Nah. Oh yeah by the way to make myself sleep on friday night i didn't sleep the whole of thursday so i was like a walking zombie.... And what was stupid is that plans never go smoothly so i should have just slept anyway. Cos i didn't get any sleep except for that 2 hours before i force myself to wake up and get ready for morning service. Talked alot with Nah. Many problems my eyes had opened up. Now i guess i know what Dad was talking to me about when God opens your eyes.

Now to change the topic. When you think Christians know what in the world they are saying. When they have not experience they will just tell you textbook answers which will not motivate you. In fact even if they tell you their experience you won't know it until you really experience it.

I feel sad but i cannot write it on my blog. I have many things that i feel i should do. But how can i solve it ? I feel sad as i hear Hougang is going to have it's new TJC church. The good side is that woo i can be free of duties, i do not need to travel so far away and waste time. Bad points are i have no excuse to skip church service since it's so near. I can do my duties whenever i'm called to do so. I will leave my friends and not see them again every week. Which is a big blow to me just when we are getting along.

Reaching 21 is a very big impact to me. I think i have fully grown up already but since i'm thinking like that, i think i have not grown up fully yet. My thinking is no longer the same as when i thought last week. I have decided to take up arms and fight the battle in life's struggle. No longer pampered. No longer spoilt.

Anyway there are lots of problems that i'm facing now. But good thing is that my NS interview is this tuesday and if i pass it i might enter in 1 week time or in 5 weeks time. Cos the entry batch is starting. I have confidence in my interview. I'm so inside the police. No sweat.

LOL. Anyway i went for a hair cut. Damn. It sucks. But to make my mom happy. Hahaha.. Yeah it's ok i think this salon suits you more. I prefer my previous one instead. I guess she understands, she wasn't giving me feedback on my hair. LOL. I too picky i'm sorry mom. But i explained that it doesn't matter, i'm gonna shave my hair soon anyway. Hahaha. So yeah. I guess it's good. Anyway i fell asleep when i was dying my hair until the hair dresser touched my shoulder i immediately got into a defensive position, so embrassing, i think i'm fated to be a commando or something around that range. I can't sleep well at night feeling safe. I keep thinking i will be attacked and to stay focus in order to disarm the person. When i reached home i just went directly to sleep. And my pillow turned into a yellow background with purplish red dots forming an oval shape of my head. I was so sleepy since i didn't sleep the day before and still lack like 13 hours of sleep. Cos i didn't sleep on thursday so that i can sleep early on friday night. LOL. In the end 2 days of not sleeping made me so... Dizzy. I think i'm gonna sleep soon. Ja mata.

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
1:23 am

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Sunday, September 14, 2008

Firstly i want to salute Okamura-san. He really is funny... Joker man... Make me laugh like mad for so long. I keep watching that show and imitating him. Hama Mie... LOL... I really look like an dumbass but who cares i'm having fun. I kept on dancing like him hahahaha. Funny. The dance so easy to remember and complete. Anyway singapore dancing rather lame. I rather go America, Korea or Japan to learn dancing. You shake your body abit you consider good at dancing lame lor Singapore really no standard in such areas.

Ok... Today... Err... I forgot what happened. I think i talked to Sue for too long.. Oh yeah i went to play Wii after that till 3 am. LOL. Than after bathing i just KO at my bath. Yup actually promised to go for morning service so Nah asked me to help him cover his duty. But by the time i woke up the service has already ended 1 hour ago. LOL. I got so many missed calls from friends asking me things. Plus i got messages about being lazy and slacking and all... It's not lazy or slacking... It's called staying healthy. Yeah... LOL.

But yesterday i broke my ankle again. During boxing the vibration was so great cos i got a bashing. I accidentally jumped onto the rug and slipped, but i didn't want to fall so i tried stamp my foot with alot of force to stablise my body but i used my ankle instead to break my fall. So my ankle kinda hurts. Due to past injury from getting a sliding tackle during a soccer game, my ankle gets hurt very easily. LOL. Archilies. But amazingly today still can walk although abit pain only. I'm a man i can take it... Woo... I love that line.

Quit nice man, the whole place gave me a kind of excitement when i enter the new building. Is this going to be our new church ? Doesn't feel right. But still it's kind of exciting like a holiday camp. LOL. Funny had so much fun today. Walked to the playground. Bro Nic was there and asking where we going. LOL. I just smiled and pointed to the playground. LOL. Throw face.... Man.... Kanna teased like mad.

In the end Vic was happy.... She managed to snatch the swing from the kids. LOL... No la... actually is got no one so she went to sit on it. But after 10 mins she came back. LOL. After months of whining she just spent 10 mins of happiness before coming back to earth. LOL. I was busy talking cock with ZC, Nah and Glenn were in their own world talking about some other games. I managed to talk about becoming a GM and all that. Wanted to ask about the codings and how is the game made. I was very curious about how games are being made... We talked alot of stuff and even studies. I managed to find the course i want to do in UNI. I want to take an MBA course. So after working i want to use the money for MBA. It's very expensive.

Anyway i was talking about my chest when vic was sitting the swing. Woo... Wii has given me a good looking chest. It feels firm man... I mean not even the little wobble at all when there is muscles there. Cool sia. I feel so great with my new chest. I want to change to a better body. Even my legs are firmer with all that running left and right when i play boxing. Must be swift must be fast. Must read the person's move. Must think of how to beat him/her. Wooo... Best.

Anyway after that we wanted to walk to the coffee shop, which was 15 mins away if we were to walk there slowly. Kinda of fun, no kick lor. Such a short distance is nothing. The most 1 plus km mah. But Vic was like arr... Noooo... Dun walk... So i told her since she wants to eat ice cream she go buy an ice-cream before we start walking. Fres when to INdo i think. I heard SK also went there. Oh well. Anyway it was rather fun.

Reached the coffee shop we were deciding if we should eat chinese food or pizza near by. Walking a few times before we decided to go have pizza instead. Best. LOL. I wanted to have a cheezy meal and a large pizza. And guess what. We bought a large and regular pizza. And the pizza's were large Cheezy Hotdog pizza and regular extra cheezy pizza. LOL. My wish came true. Wooo.... Invited Glenn to come over to my birthday BBQ 2 week later. See their decision next week. If got enough people than i go get the list of people ready and tell my sis.

Oh yeah Sue. Sorry about the photos i promised i only managed to take one photo before the battery went flat. So no sparklers and mini fire crackers. Anyway it was about to rain so no point. We played awhile before it started to rain. I'll take more picture next week instead.

After that we walked to the next bus stop... I wanted to walk to the MRT station, since i have not worked out the whole of that day. Anyway i walked the whole day after that. We went Sun Plaza. Woo... Guess what Glenn asked me after we got down the bus ? ... "Tim wanna go get a drink and talk cock ?" Firstly i thought it was soft drink so i didn't mind. Than he said "No... I'm talking about beer". LOL. Vodka... Woo... I wanted to drink the cherry flavour. But in the end i cannot find vodka anywhere so decided to go home and chat online.

I think he went to sleep cos i didn't see him online again. Oh well. NS men. What to expect, give him chance la. Can meet him good enough liao. Anyway i sat on the bus 72 and slept after it past NYP entrance. All the way until hougang mall when i woke up and rushed down the bus. I was stunned to see a girl sitting beside me and starring at me when i was sleeping. Man. Was there something on my face ? I just woke better cloths today cos the cloths i'm comfortable with are being washed at the moment. I think i need to get a new belt. My old pants is falling at my hips. It's at the tip already if i compress my stomach my pants will fall...

Guess it's time to get new cloths. I can't believe i'm back to 80 kg after the pizza and snacking from the past few days. Oh well. It doesn't really matter if i gain or lose weight, if you gain you can always lose it again. BW said a very funny analogy. "A guy losing 1 kg of weight is the same amount of shock as a gal gaining 1 kg." LOL. He really makes me crack up alot. Crappy guy. Oh well. I'm going to go study my Japanese already took too much time writting this blog and watching Jacky Wu. I want to take my japanese O lvl test by next year. So i can take my degree the year after. Cool. After i get my degree i'll go to Japan for a trip with my friends. Banzai. LOL. Okay, Benshoshimuse Byez.

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
1:39 am

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Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Hahahaha... Just came back from a run after my nightmare later i'll go for a run with my friend. Wooo.... Went running twice in a day... Cool.... Anyway after running my nightmare still stays clear in my head. Oh yeah for those who hate head flying and body slicing please do not read this post.

I had a bad nightmare... I can't seem to sleep well yesterday, i kept on dreaming one dream after another... Can't seem to remember the other dreams but i remembered the last one. My hair... Slowly being shaved off. The creepy woman was shaving my hair off and sniffing it. Sick... To the core. After shaving it, she tried to lick my head... I couldn't take it so i gave her a punch in the face before i ran out of the freaky place.

I was given my singlet and army pants to change into. Damn it was cool. But the people around look like their brains got fried. I was placed in this room. Man it was so creepy. It was totally dark and there was a chair in the middle. I was forced into the room to sit in the middle of this chair with a bright light shining into it. I'm used to controlling my dreams so when i know something is wrong i just change my world. I wack the 2 shadow looking guys who forced me into the room upside down but the freaking door just shutted itself before i managed to get out so i sat on the chair. Immediately the chair strap itself onto me. It was an eletric chair. I knew it lor. Stupid sia. They started questioning me. And told me a password. "Your hair is gone" Damn sia... I think during normal times i was too lame now i get such lame dreams... The password is like... Haiz... NVM... Worst was that it felt so pain and real when they just shocked me for no reason after asking me a series of questions. I got fed up so i broke the chair... Dun ask me how. I just tried my hardest to stand up and it just broke. Jumped into the screen where the people were questioning me and wack them like crazy funny thing is they just look like shadows... Black but not as black as the dark room. Without any face or anything.

I don't know how but somehow i was teleported to another place. Lined up with alot of people. The person in charge shouted. You see that bucket of water in front of you. What is the first thing you think of ? Drinking ? NO morons. Putting it on your bags ? No you dumbasses. I want you guys to put them on your hairless heads, run up this hill into the camp and if i see you guys spill a single drop you will come back here fill your waters with this tap and run back up.

Damn it's my dream... How come you get to shout so much at me so much ? Man... Could it be a fear the army so much ? It sort of looks like a holiday camp to me.... Well commando camp sort of ... Have the feeling of death i guess.. Anyway before i forget the last part before i woke up. Didn't care what the person was saying i threw the water down the cliff he was shouting like mad so i kicked him and he fell off the cliff. LOL. My kick like super kick sia, the cliff took me so long to walk over and throw the bucket of water down. But a kick can just make him fly so far and fall off. Funny. The power of dreams. Anyway i ran up ahead in front of the people around me. But somehow there is still a line of people in front of me although i ran my hardest and got ahead of the pack somehow there were still people appearing in front of me.

But they are sort of a guide for me to follow. The camp was not a camp... Sort of like the harry potter castle but it's not.. It was darker... More gloomy. And you know what happened next, i saw those fence the one you see in western graves... And true enough... Our beds were the soil and a tombstone was there each with our names there... I saw my name on my tombstone. Someone i guess a person in charge shouted... These will be your beds. In case you die during battle these will be your grave as well. Better start having some feelings for it before you die. I protested. These are our beds ? How can you let a solider be so demoralised before they head on to battle ? To see your own graves. We WILL BE COMING BACK ALIVE.

Suddenly i heard a voice from behind me. "Yeah we will come back alive, from the dead".... I wasn't so stupid i jumped forward and did a roll out of the "bunk room" There he was the in charge i kicked off the cliff... Looking dead with a broken neck, he stabbed a sword at the spot i was standing. Please i prefer using a katana. Anyway after thinking of that for awhile, he charged at me. I tried to hit his vital points from what i learnt online and during my aikido lessons. But what do you expect he is dead. So i was kicked to the ground... Ouch... My tummy still hurts from the kick.

It was painful. I couldn't get up. I was just sprawling on the ground, wriggling like a worm so helpless. While the dead guy went to get his sword. He walked up to me and with a piercing position he aimed the tip of his sword towards my head. I did not want to do this but i kick him in the you-know-what, sending him hopping around. For a moment i thought it was useless to kick a dead guy there. But the funny thing was that a golden ball fell off... Hahahaha... He was cursing me so i asked him if he liked the 2nd one to fall off as well. He suddenly charged towards me with his sword. Freaking monster... But i just made a katana appear out of no where and block his attackes. From my aikido lessons i managed to cut him alot. He body was spilling maggots. We parry with one another for sometime before i saw an opening. With one strike i cut his body into half. He was screaming in pain as his body slowly falles off his waist but before the whole thing fell of i gave his head a swift cut. Doing a cool post of drawing my nihontō back into it's scabbard.

I thought it was the end but the sky was still deadly dark with the smell of death all around. To kill an undead. Was to smash his brains. I totally forgot. He got up and pieced his body together. And gave me a stab from the back. Why is my stomach aimed so much ? I feel so pain when i woke up... Anyway back to the dream... That was not how i woke up. The pain was so great but i can tahan... I cut his head by drawing my nihontō forward and doing a stab to the back of my head into his neck and slicing it off in one blow to waste some time. Before i pushed the sword out of my body. While he was piecing his head back, i got this first aid kit from out of no where. Yeah don't ask me i cannot understand how i get things in my dream, all i need to do is think about it and reach out into the air. That's how i get my equipments. Yup. Just pour some liquid organs into my body and some liquid flesh and i was back to normal. Just that i still feel the pain.

It started to rain and the both of us jumped off the cliff and landed into a field. Just like those samurai shows. We ran forward but the monster's rotting smell was getting worst, so we pause awhile as i started puking. He was kept on apologizing as he covered his mouth. Joker la. My dream is so screwed up... Anyway the swords turned into light sabers and my cool scene was taken away from me... Sick... light sabers.... So lame la... And than teleported to some space platform or something... Can feel the burning sensation as i avoided his fatal blows. We were on the same level of skills so we can't land hits on each other. And lastly when our blades or whatever you call those lights collide, i kicked him in the stomach(yes revenge) but he punched me in the face[dishonour (T-T)] as the water spill out of my mouth i woke up. Feeling very thirsty. LOL. Stupid way to end a dream. Anyway i'm going for a run. My friend woke up and came over to my house while i was writting this. Sick spent 1 hour writting already. Byez.

Labels: A bad night.

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
9:14 am

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Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Got bugged by Vicky to change my blog lay out. So here it is. The one i like better kind of got a funny feel. Cos the flashing words would sort of cross over my blog. But it's way cool. Anyway since Vicky keep asking so i'll change it la. I've got time anyway.

My sleeping time kinda of got screwed. Oh yeah something very unexpected happened sia. Vicky join me take bus. LOL. Anyway walking in the rain was very fun. I loved the rain alot. Reminds me of my younger days. Looking at the sky, flying kites, enjoying the wind.

Many nice things are happening to me these few days. I guess it's because it's raining everyday. I prefer being alone during rainy days. The rain makes me happy. I like the sound of rain drops falling to the ground, i love the smell of rain it has this smell that feels cool. I keep looking up into the sky these few days. It's kind of nice. I look the cool weather that lets me sleep so easily. Hibernation time is here. Guess sleeping is rather good.

I remember during theolo it was always raining. I would love to sleep during that time. I would always look at the window when it's raining and see the rain drops drip down from it. Maybe there will be a bug or 2 stuck on the window but the rain drops just down fall onto it. Thus i tortured the bug by diverting all the rain drops onto it. Disappointing... It fell off so easily. I admire the spider. The web was all wet and the spider was trying it's best to fight against the weather. Don't give up. Even when the web is broken try and try again. I tried once to break the web but the spider built it all up by the next day. I kept doing that for a few days but still it didn't give up.

I have nothing to say but all the best in your life little one. You will do great.

Everything is connected. I wonder why ? But somehow everything is connected. The internet is a big spider web. You can cut the line to be a stand alone web but the moment you switch on the internet you join the web together. But man... can never be together. Their web is always alone. When they join together it takes awhile before it breaks in the end.

People will always complain and backstab one another. So what is the point of saying anything to people you don't trust. How is your day ? How are you doing ? What's up have not talked to you for so long ? Useless words. If you really have a bond in the first place, even without words you will make the person feel comfortable. I used to have those kind of friends. But what the hell happened ? I got screwed in the back. That's how "Good" friends can become. Family is all i have ? No... I still have some friends. Trust only a few people. Mostly those that are close to me. Family can be a disappoint some times. Heed the words of your parents. Since dad says don't make this kind of friends so go ahead.

I mean that way how do i make friends ? Just because he doesn't greet or feels abit unfriendly... WTH.. Unless he is a gangster or talks dirty i have nothing to say. But oh well... So what if i feel like that. I cannot do anything...

I feel trapped but i cannot break free... I wonder why ? I think i just want to stay in church and not go back home. Staying in church feels great. I don't know why. But i just enjoy staying there for the night more than anything else in the world.

Is being a christian that hard ? Didn't Jesus came to this world to be with sinners ? Why must i always stay with goody goody people ? Instead of asking me to stay away from him why not try to change him ? This is absured... Forget it. I'm gonna sleep. Although it's mid day... Whatever... Nitez.

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
3:34 pm

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About Me

Crossroads

Memories Of The Wind

Whispers Of The Forest

Whistle While You Walk

The Trodden Road

Memories of the forgotten

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Monday, September 22, 2008

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Tuesday, September 09, 2008