The Forgotten Land

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Basket....
I don't want to leave the army.
I don't want to lose my buds.
I want to POP with everyone else.
Is that even fair for me?
To lose them so soon?

We had fun being confined yesterday.
Sir gave us some time off, since we had our IPPT.
Most of those who stayed back failed their IPPT.
But as you know, I kanna marked already and last week fail my station.
So I stayed back even though I passed.

We had fun playing a fool.
Singing songs, dancing in the bunk, err…. Many censored things.
I won’t talk about. Stupid guys.
You never know who is going to rape you so don’t go dancing naked.
We got one rapist face in our bunk already.
LOL.

Smuggle Maggi Mee…. Ohhh…. The smell was heavenly.
Have not consumed such unhealthy food for 3 months.
Ohhh… Best.
Played Pool… Wooo… beat you guys without even blinking…
Hahahaha….
Plus a lot of crappy stuff.
Hmm…. Things we don’t get to do on a normal basis.
We steal people’s clothings while they are bathing and lock all the bunks.
Throw their cloths at the parade square and let them run down to take them.

Talk cock and watch tv at the NX room. Bloody hell.
No show to watch…. Only the News.
Played my MP3 and jump around the place like I own it.
Cool shit.

Run around disturbing others.
Talking cock until 11 pm, when light out was suppose to be at 10.30.
Abandon my buddy at the bunk to sleep somewhere else since he snores too loud.
Power he still so thick face come over to sleep with us.
Dun get the message….
We want to sleep…. Go away…..
One day must go Kiwii his face black.
Make sure he POP totally black.

So since he snore so loud we woke each other up at 2 am went back to our section to sleep.
Lock the bunk he is sleeping in and played a fool at our bunk.
Got bored and decided to play a prank.
Pretend to be ghost enter my buddy’s bed area and scare him.
Since our bunk is haunted.
But…. Kanna caught la… Cos he screamed like a girl. Hahaha.

Punished to do 50 push ups, 100 sit ups, 50 chicken backside.
Super shagged than go back and sleep.
Haiz. But we suffer together and had fun.
Wooo…. Hahahaha…..
I wanna do that again.
But without the training.

Yup life with my army buds is getting so close.
The whole platoon is so fun to be with.
Haiz... Well time to move on.
Maybe the police might be a good place as well ?
A new beginning maybe ?
Maybe i'll get good friends as well...
Friends that go through shit together.
To trust each other fully.
Haiz... My buds.
I'm sorry i can't POP with you guys.
I really want to go.... But....
Sorry.

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
1:06 pm

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Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Have you been feeling happy all your life ?
Have you notice if the people around you are happy as well ?
I wonder....
Sorry for not paying too much attention to details.
But i feel down as well.
Army is sick... I hate it to the core.
But somehow i love going back to see my buds.
My personality sucks as well.
Maybe i'm not the sensitive type.
I hack care, and i shrug it off.
That makes me happy, just to live each moment.
Anything bad, don't care.
People make fun of me.
Be happy cause you are making others happy.

Share the happy times together.
Being good friends.
Strangers can become close friends.
To die for in the course of battle.
I'm willing to die for someone else.
Are you ?
Jesus died for all of us didn't he ?
As a mortal does he know all of us ?
He told God to take the bittle cup away from him.
If it is possible did he not ?
And yet he went ahead with God's plans.
To rise up and clean us all.
He died for strangers and called us strangers his child.
Will you die for him because he died for you ?
Will you not die for a stranger too ?
Just like Him ?

Are the friends you know really your friends ?
Have you made an effort to be their friends.
Even if they betray you in the end ?
Even if they are unable to keep up to your level.
Do you help them ?
To be as good as you ?
Or make them trash and remain like that ?
Friends ?
What is it's meaning ?
Denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more people.
A relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis.
Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other.

Maybe we treat the word friend too lightly.
The the past, friends are close as love ones.
They are people you can kiss and hug.
They stand by you no matter what.
I will give my loyalty if you give me yours.
Prove to me your friendship and i will not doubt you.
That's bad right ?
I need your prove first...
But i try my best to give you my loyalty first.
If it's not returned...
So sad too bad....
Isn't christainly but i hope i won't get angry because of you.
For i will sin even more, plotting ways to kill you everyday.
Joking. But at least get angry for some crap you do.
If i do not enjoy your presence, i try to accept.
Until my limit.
Which is rather unlimited since army is so Shitty.

Being Happy ?
What's the meaning of happiness then ?
Happiness is a state of mind or feeling such as contentment, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy.
Yes !!! pleasure, contentment and all that crap.
But where do we find those things ? We are city people.
We have alot, yet we do not know of these small things.
That can become very big, if the situation arises.
If you are required to eat buns for your 3 meals.
Will you be happy ?
If you were to run for your life every single day.
Will you be happy ?
If you were out in the wild.
Hot in the morning, scortching in the afternoon.
Cooler in the evening.
Humid in the night.
Freezing in the later hours of the night.
Will you be happy ?

Are you happy to have a roof over your head ?
Are you happy to know that your friend is beside you but you can't talk to him ?
To prevent enemies from noticing our movement and sound.
It feels like you want to rip yourself apart.
So what is happiness ?

To know that your buddy is watching your back.
To know that you can support your buddy and he to you.
To know that even if we keep slient, we can get through the day safely.
To know that even if it's hot at least it will be freezing at night.
So it balance out in the end.
To know that you can eat your next meal.
While others get punished for breaking the rules.
To see the beautiful stars at night, the love shaped leaf.
The fire flies.... Such a romentic place, without the training.
Oh yeah if you want to enjoy them....
It's at the expense of your own sleeping time.
But what the hack, we don't get enough sleep everyday anyway.
So who cares.
Just watch the fireflies as they sleep and give a dimmer glow.
How beautiful to view them from such a close range.
I could almost touch them.
But i remember touching them will kill them.
So i didn't do that.
That was my happiness.
Thank God for the beautiful location to keep me happy.
Through such small things.

If you paid a trip to see the fire flies would you feel the same ?
Because you expect to see it.
If you didn't see it, would you feel angry ?
I was happy because i saw it and was surprised.
I was happy because i had something to look forward to each night.
I was happy and ready to run up the hill to see them ASAP.

Every little thing counts.
Even though you are shag.
You are suffering.
Somebody is more shag.
He is suffering even more.
Yet he is going on.
Will you not do the same ?
Will you give up ?
And leave your men behide ?

Even if you are unable to do anything.
Will you risk you life and stay with you buddy ?
Even if you can't help him.
Will you stay to at least lend him a hand or give moral support.
By being there with him ?

Before you judge others...
Judge yourself.
Have you been doing the right thing ?
Is others complain about the same thing about you ?
Would you change your life instead to suit others ?
Or would you want to be selfish and want the other party to change instead ?
It's hard....
But we are on earth, not heaven...

We are meant to be punished here in this forsaken world.
We are meant to suffer.
It's only when we do not suffer.
Sin will spawn...
People will act like brothers.
In times of peace.
But when trouble starts...
Will we still be together ?
Will you stay loyal ?
If your family is held hostage.
Will you say the same ?

Nothing is easy.
Even getting to heaven.
We need to put in hardwork in order to get there.
Be happy. Sin lesser, if possible don't sin at all.
Think of God, he need to clean you everyday.
Give Him some time to rest can ?
Although God doesn't need a holiday.
Giving him a holiday might make him happy.
So we all are happy.

When you suffer, share it.
We suffer together.
When we are happy.
We stay happy together.
Our group unfortunately is getting smaller.
Just 1 or 2 years can change a person so much.
When we can spend 16 to 20 years of our life in church.
We treat it like dirt and walk away.
This is how you treat God ?
Knowing he is true and having the HS ?
I say it's bullshit.
Don't give me your crap.
Unless you really cannot make it...
Don't come.
Don't tell me i cannot make it... Cannot rush over.
When you are shopping at the other end of the map.

Even if the sermon is not interesting.
May not be edifying or pierce your heart anymore.
Your heart may have turn to stone.
Too much army... Saying bad words has become so common.
It's hard not to sin when you are bounded by sin.
I just want to say....
If you are reading this.
Don't give up.
Because someone is praying for you.
I am praying for you.

I may not be good.
Or holy.
I screw up alot.
I'm not as good as i boast.
I may be in the past.
I'm a lazy person by nature.
I know i will die when i get out of cougar.
Although i complain.
I love my figure now.
And i want to continue having it, so i want to change myself.
I may not look hardworking now.
But i try my best to be the better man you once look up to.

Do not give up.
God is crying for you.
He is begging himself not to write anymore names in hell as he already done so.
Do not make him suffer anymore.
Return back to his side.
Do you not feel your heart grieve when you first had the hate ?
Do you not follow that small echo in your heart.
Telling you to forgive ?
Telling you to give in ?
It takes two hand to clap.

You know.
I have always looked up to you.
Because you did what i couldn't do.
Because you were always up there.
I was always in the shadows.
When i got the HS you got it shortly.
I was jealous.
But i shrug it off.

But i seek to be better than you in the wrong way.
So now i regrate.
Why did i give up on you so long ago ?
Just because you got the HS, i let you fly into the sky.
Like a kite, the string broke and you flew too far from my reach.
It's because army had not trained me to do so.
To be more understanding.
To be able to look after you as it is my duty.
I'm sorry.
Forgive me for letting you be this way.
I can only relay on God's hand now.
I may be useless... But i have a God that made everything.
Hopefully this has touched God's heart and yours.
Hopefully my Lord can help.
Hopefully he can open your heart again.

I can't only write till here.
Sick Dogs have to rest.
Nitez.

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
9:12 pm

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Cougar warrior are human.... Unfortunately.
Didn't know i could fall sick at such an important time.
Sick to the core.
I was still feeling fine when i woke up....
Down with a freaking fever before we set of for field camp.

I think i know the pattern on how i get my fever.
I just feel abit drowzy and the temperature would be around 38.7 to 39 degrees.
Abit extreme....
Kind of bad if they don't give the proper treatment.

I got 10 mins to unload all the tool....
Mega amount of tool in my bag....
And Change to my smart4....
Which i had made into a long4 for my SIT test....

Damn....
I rush like mad....
After i ate medi...
Felt so drowzy....
Felt like dying....
March under the hot sun feeling that way....
All the way to the port....
Felt so long....
Felt like killing myself....
Wanted to fall to the ground and make some dust fly...

But since i saw the ocean, i felt the will to carry on.
POP is coming soon.
I want to go out with pride.
Pass my SIT test and go to OCS.
Guess there is no time for GFs.
Army life is cruel...
But... I love it alot.
Just for 2 years...
Doesn't seem too short or too long.

Guess i just might become someone great.
For a NS men.
Gonna snooze.
Byez.

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
12:07 pm

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Sunday, February 15, 2009

Maybe it's because i'm careless.
Maybe it's because i'm useless.
I can't even get Marksman.
What can i prove now ?

I got 32 out of 32 before.
But i just can't perform during test.
Why is that ?
I keep thinking i cannot get full marks.
Maybe that's why i can't get full marks at all.
Cos i think that way.

I feel so sad.
I've let myself down.
SIT test better perform well.
I'm getting fed up with failing all the time.
This is sick.
I will get a perfect score.
I must get it.

Maybe somebody was down with me.
But well, life it's like that.
Suck thumb.
So what if you are 1 shot away from marksman.
YOU FAIL.
That's the fact.
You let your company down.
Our section had 10 marksman before that shot.
And in the end got 3 instead.
WTH is this.
At least we got our pride back for company's best shot.
But i'm not happy.
I didn't contribute to getting marksman.
Damn. I wanna hit my head on the freaking wall.
Darn it.

Suck thumb.
Get your head in the game.
You got another test in 2 days time.
Good luck.
You can do it.
I know you can.

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
1:45 am

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Sunday, February 01, 2009

You know...
When you start being a man...
You grow up and realise the importance in your value.
The burden you have to take up.
The role that you have to play.

When you see others being childish.
You can't help but pity them.
Somehow...
Well...

Just like...
T:Can't you come over to my place ?
Me:Ermm... I just booked out and i'm shagged.
Me:But hmm... No problem. I'll go over.
T:Yayyy... That's great but i want to watch a movie.
Me: Could we do this another week ?
Me: This weekend is rather short of me.
Me: Have to do up some assignments that the army gave me.
T: Aww... But i have been waiting to watch this movie for so long.
T: I wanted to watch it with you.
Me: Err... Must it be tonight ? Can we change it to another day ?
T: If you don't want to watch it with me just say so...
Me: Not really, I'm just shagged.
Me: So sorry, come on... Don't be angry.
Me: Dinner's on me later.

Man.... Girls can be so devastating to your life.
Yet there must be give and take.
Oh well...
More importantly.
Do what is right.
You know what i mean.

For guys who still remain childish.
Good for you.
Enjoy your freedom.
Enjoy not playing your roles.
For those who entered army and not yet matured.
Pity you.
Sadded.
Well time to go... Need to book out later. Byez.

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
5:00 am

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About Me

Crossroads

Memories Of The Wind

Whispers Of The Forest

Whistle While You Walk

The Trodden Road

Memories of the forgotten

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Sunday, February 01, 2009