The Forgotten Land

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Are humans weak ?
Yes you can say that.
We are frail and weak creature.
If we say that cockroaches are difficult to kill.
Aren't we the same ?

Yes, bug spray can kill them.
We can smack them with our slippers.
Crush them with our shoes.
Hit them with rolled up newspapers.
Even though you try as much to kill them.
They still survive and multiply.
Just as the stars above.
Maybe they did well and God bless them just like Abrahem.

We go through many things in life.
Still we survive.
Many of us feel hell itself.
Tortured both physically and mentally.
I feel hell....
But i choose to ignore it.
The devils clutches are always near.
Seeking to swipe us at any moment.

I knew i had to grow up the moment i entered army.
I knew such childishness had to end.
I knew i had to be strong, not the weak old me.
It's time to grow up.

Yes... People may double-cross us.
But have we ever double cross others ?
People may not care about you.
But have we cared for others ?
Ask ourselves this question.
Maybe someone has said this before...
Do to other's what other's will do to you.
Spiritually think that way.
Another point to note.
Do not ask what other's can give to you, but what you can give to other's.

If you require trust.
Won't you trust other's before you attain that ?
Maybe the people who cares for you still does care.
But maybe he or she may be tired ?
Physically ? Spiritually ?
On the verge of falling ?
Instead of helping, you mock the person ?
To place yourselve in the shoes of other's.

It's a hard thing to do.
You have not been there and done that.
Some ate more salt than you have eaten rice.
Sometimes we have judged before we even asked.
Sometimes we feel empty inside...
We want help... But others might be empty as well.
We have to give and take....
Not take all the time.

To grow up and rely on ourselves.
On God.
Friends can help if they are free.
That is if they are willing.
Won't you try to understand ?

Giving up is always easy.
Taking the easy way out.
Escaping from reality.
But does that solve your problems ?
I wonder.....
You still feel the scar inside you.
You feel the pain.
Does that help in any way ?
Been there.... Took me a hard time to recover.

Army does help.... In a way.
When you take the shit.
It's true friends that helps you.
Guides you along the way.
We help each other.
And we get wacked together.
That is where trust comes from.

That is when you realise.
What the hell are you doing with your life ?
Why are you so bloody selfish ?
Why do you only think of your bloody self ?
Care for soliders, do you really know what that means ?

I think TJC should have the 7 core values as well.
1)Loyalty to Country(Change country to God)
2)Leadership(Haiz...Sad to see the management, maybe the new blood might work something out)
3)Discipline(I think all of us needs that)
4)Professionalism (Haizz.... Just look at the state we are in, lot of work to be done)
5)Fighting Spirit(We lack that, alot.)
6)Ethic(Talking behide other's back, Hiaz... Wanna say also say in front of the person mah)
7)Care for soldiers(This is the most important part i feel we should have.)

Maybe when i see other's...
I always get the feeling...
A leopard doesn't change it spots....
I wonder... Why do i change so much that it scares me ?
But when i see other's... They don't change at all.
Still the same, even after they said they will change.
And i feel so disappointed that i erase them off my contact list.
I never want to know a weakling like you.
A person who has given up.
Does not require me as a friend for the standard shown is pathetic.

Maybe God won't give up on you, he is the best.
I can't say anything. But as for me.
I'm not the best.
I have given up on you.
You do not meet my requirements, and you failed to meet my standards.
So long, may we never meet again.
I have given you plenty of chances.
You used up all of it.
Thus i must bid you farewell.

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
1:04 am

-----------------

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Hmm...
Haven't had time to go out and have fun.
Guess i'll start going out during my block leave.
There are some places need to go.
Does anyone have time to go out with me ?
It requires alot of walking though.
Cos i have no idea where it is....

Places/things i want to go/do:
-------------------------------------
1) Lim Bo Seng's tomb.
2) Art museum
3) Sentosa
4) Visit some friends that i have not seen in years.
5) Go out with friends to Escape to have Funnnn....
6) Make more friends.
7) Staying over at a friend's house.
8) Playing with my niece.

Anyway other things i have done during this short day.
I've upload the site of my photo album.
Go find..
Cannot download yet.
So POP that time than i send whatever you guys want.
Just give me a beep on msn when you see me.
Sad thing about life...
Nothing goes as well as you want.

I need to lessen the burdens of others.
And not only have fun for myself.
I need to help out and allow others to have a life as well.
Anyway i need to go out for dinner and go out with friends later.
And book in directly after that.

Before i go i just want to say POP lo !!!!!
Muahahahahaha.....

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
6:06 pm

-----------------

Haven't got enough sleep.
Worried each day that i get camo on me.
POP is coming and people are already going nuts.
My helmet and LPV is missing...
Some bugger just took it by mistake.

I feel pissed losing it due to my interview.
Damn....
What will i do on Monday's rehersal ?
Gonna have to work something out when i book in.
No point worrying about it now.

Keep getting nightmares that i get pump.
Or punished, tortured by sergent.
I think i saw the ghost in my bunk.
Mistook it for a sergent and ignore it to prevent getting punished.
Indeed sergents are more terrifying than ghost in camp.
Ghost cannot pump you or make you do stupid things.

Anyway enough of that.
I feel that though i have grown by entering the army.
I have not grown enough.
I still suck...
There is many things i cannot do.
Many things i want to help.
But i just couldn't do anything but remain quiet.
Just sitting down there and telling people.
"It's okay, don't worry. Anyway worrying won't solve anything."
Indeed this is true.
But how can one stop fredding over such a line ?

I want to help them but i just sit there....
Doing nothing....
Being helpless...
What's the diff with the life i had before ?
Still useless...
Cougar warrior ?
Do i even fit the name ?
I promised my PC i will quit being a Cougar Warrior if i failed once again.
Is this the day ?
When i'm put to the test and i fail dreadfully ?

I feel that though i'm a friend...
I couldn't do anything...
I couldn't do anything to help my friend.
I'm thankful i have friends in camp. That helps me.
Make my bed sheets when i was having guard duty.
So i can sleep the moment i reach the bunk.
Thanks Buds.

Thanks Miss Cougar for letting me sleep on your bed.
Taking cock with you till 2 am and dying the next day was fun.
But what kind of friend am i ?
How can i improve myself to do more ?
To be a better man ?

Being IC i was screwed...
I did the wrong commands...
I couldn't shout... Instead i was forced to shout...
Damn...
It felt bad....
But hell i'm in cougar...
Nothing is good...
So suck thumb and get on with your duties.

I'm going to POP....
Life isn't the same as before....
We will have to take different sets of paths to reach different goals.
Let's not part, shall we ?
But i know the answers will not be what i want.
Life mostly doesn't turn out the way you want it to be.
I guess...

Spiritual life...
It seems down...
I find people talking about God seems so....
Stupid... Like they are fakes....
Christian girls are more attractive as they have that aura...
My ass... Don't give me that crap...
What part of them do they have an aura ?
Some christains are SINNING....
They don't give a shit...
But i respect your comment so i dun give a damn about it...

Enough of the unhappy stuff...
I bought a new Camera...
Wooo... Although i get comments like...
Eeeee should be this and buy that...
But what the heck.... I'm the one paying the money.
I buy what i like. I take nice photos and decorate them.
Have fun with the pics.
For my POP.... Woo...

The camera is for fashion...
Which i like....
For designing the backgrounds.
Which i can take with .... Hmm...
LOL... Err Hem...
Moving on...

Yeah took lots of pics which i will upload tomorrow.
Or maybe on thursday when i POP.
Fresa spammed the photos.
So it's gonna be alot of them..
I have a feeling....
I'm going to upload them to my photo album instead.
It'll be faster.

Had some food with Nah...
No correction...
Nah had his meal before he left...
But at least he paid for the drinks.
Vic and Sa just sat there and watch me eat.
While i happily ate and filled my stomach after waiting for a stupid reply that did not come.
If i'm not wrong 20 to 30 mins....
I finished my food within 4 mins ?
Around there.
Talked about Army life...
All the jokes...
What we did in camp.

Anyway walking with Fresa and Vicky back to the bus stop.
Freaking bored...
But tired and wanting to sleep.
Told them what i found out when i came back.

My sis found out of my secret....
She ran through my stuff without asking...
Messed up my room when i packed it clean...
Drank my carrot juice no matter where i hide it.
And it's 5/6 of the bottle mind you...
1.5 litres some more...
WTH... 2 bottles.... I can't believe it...
Take whatever thing like it's her own room like that...

I won't give in to threats...
Telling the world...
I don't care...
I rather let the truth be exposed than fall helpless in your hands.
You can torture me and kill me for all i care but i'm not going to be your prey.

Did duty in church...
Man it was busy doing it alone.
Must pray according to the hymn timing....
Haiz...
But it's worth it...
The sermon was enriching.
Wisdom to serve God.
Faithful and abiding to His words.
Doing what is right in His sight and seeking things that He favours.
Isn't that what i use to pray for...
Until things gone wrong and i gone astray...
Pulling people back may cause myself to go with them instead...
I want to save what i left of me...

If ever there is anything good left is me...
Now is the time to come out...
Army has corrupted my soul...
Lord Save Me....
I feel so useless...
I'm not like you...
The comforter...
I cannot do the things you do...
But i want to be able to do the things you do...
Not for myself...
But for others....
Why can't be do things right ?
Why must i always stay a loser ?

I realised i have no confidence in myself...
I have the feel...
But i don't have the confident to make things happen...
To make things right.
I want to be better...
I have no regrates of the choices i have made...
It made me who i am now...
Wiser...Stronger... Better....
I just need to be more...
I need you Lord...
I need your help...
I want to help people lose their pain...

Men like to do stupid things when they have too much time...
They are like women...
When you have a more serious thing at hand...
You ignore it... Instead you pick on the less important and minor things.
Why ? Do you feel happy to kick someone out of the house ?
Do you like kicking your brother or sister out of the house ?
When the parents keep silent, who are you to judge ?
Are you here to pass judgement on others ? Or to help spread the word ?
To save or to kill ?

When you should be out doing preaching...
You sit in your houses and plot such plans.
Due to your hate for a comment...
Correct and try to understand.
If you were ganged up against and sent to places...
Only God knows where...
What the hell would you be feeling ?
If you were the one who is being kicked out.
Because you want to prove your parents is innocent and not a creator of evil..
Would you be happy with your sliblings doing that ?

I wonder if power have gotten too much in your brains.
That you let the devils corrupt your very soul...
Where is the love ?
True... I'm wondering the very same thing now...
What is going on in your bloody heads...
Wake up la...
Go read more bible and pray really hard la...
Don't later you yourself go to hell...
Everybody will get to heaven...
I don't think that way...
I think if you give up on God...
You know you are falling nearer to hell...
If you don't realise that and repent...
You will keep falling and never see the light again...

Maybe that is where my soul has fallen...
Far into the darkness...
Away from God...
Far far away...
Anyway gotta sleep.
Nitez.

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
2:17 am

-----------------

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Hmm....
Our last day together.
As soliders....
As buddies...
As friends...
We had fun playing.
SIT test was shag.
But to be able to see you in the evening and talk cock with you.
I feel happy.
I feel contented that i am able to see with the light snoring.
I wonder why everyone i sleep with snores.
LOL.
Bad luck i guess.

I'll always remember my PC.
It's so cool to be with you.
It's always inspiring and i aspire to be better when you train me.
I look up to you alot.
My idol... Someone who i really respect.
It isn't like some S.H.E or whatever....
He did something that cause me to really respect him.
I may not like him at first.
But listening to what he said over and over again.
It makes sense... I had to change...
To be a better man...

Take guy for the times we bonded together.
Having fun eating and sharing snacks....
Having fun being tortured together....
Playing arm wrestling...
Tug of war...
Fliping people's bed upside down...
Messing up people's lockers...
Talking cock till 12 am...
This week we learn to be smarter....
We kiwi the boots before we throw the whole brush into my buddy's mouth.
LOL. Super funny.
Stealing ZH's watch and putting it into his mouth....
Letting it ring in his mouth in the morning and waking him up....
Hahahaha... Super funny....
Sorry bro... But i couldn't sleep....
Hahaha... Just had to do it since i saw you in that position...
Wahahahha....

Hey guys...
Remember to bring the 20 bucks for our last memory together.
Let's rock and roll.... For the last time...
The last dance together...
COUGAR WARRIORS !!!!

I have decided to not give others a chance anymore.
When i have given you an invitation.
That's the end.
If you gave up this chance, it's the end.
I'll no longer be persistant and a pest.
I was thinking not to let go.
But i guess i was wrong.
Some times you should give up on people.
They may not change their skin after all.

I want to change but i think i change too much.
Too fast...
It scares me sometimes...
But WTH, i feel good....
But i know somewhere within me is dying.
I should have listened to a certain someone's advise.
I'm turning into someone i do not want to be.

Life is going boring...
I feel like being by myself...
Maybe i'm losing myself... Slowly...
But surely...
We work and train hard but we play hard....
Wooo... I understand... and i'm loving it...

Today did some church work with the AVA...
But because of yesterday's rubbish....
I was nodding my head away...
But in the end i wrote down my thoughts....
In order to keep myself awake...
I guess it might have made some people irritated...
But i don't care... I want to stay awake....
I dun want to sleep....
I keep doing that every week...
Not this week...

The message i got when i book out was scarry....
Vic gave me a message saying...
You'll be a victim as well...
In the end she was meaning her cheeze cake.
YES... Cheeze cake not cheese...
Cos i didn't feel any cheese at all...
It was more like chocolate pie or tart...
I was rather worried about her suddenly feeling so moody...
But girls will be girls...
She isn't mature enough...
But oh well... Different people need different situation to grow...
Mine turned out to be army...
To teach me to be a men...
To be childish as well...
But to know when to be a man....
How to care for others...

But don't look at other's weakness...
I have my weakness as well...
I can't get my sword anymore...
I didn't get my bloody marksman...
I still failed and didn't do well in terms of situation with stress..
In other words i'm a failure....
So i have not learn my lesson...
I have not had success for a long time...
The question i should ask myself...
WHY ??? Hmm... Maybe it's time to keep quiet and ponder again...
I need answers again...

We are all going to walk different walks of life....
But... Remember the times we suffered together...
Remember the times we stayed back together....
The times we clean our bunks...
The times we got screwed together...
The dirt we got during outfield...
The shit we had to do when we were sick...
How we share each other's burden...
How we help and encourage each other...
How we trained together...
How we try hard and push each other to the limit....
How we talk cock into the late night....
When we brush our teeth together...
Slept in the same section...
Share each other's bed to talk cock...
Shared food when we are hungry...
Help each other to cut down weight and grow muscles...
The time we wanted to fall out....
The time we tell each other to keep moving...
To not fall out... To keep pushing ourself onwards...
When you slowed down i kept pushing you.... I keep pulling you with me...
When i walked.. You pushed me... Or walked with me...
Thank you for being my war buddy.

We will always be together.
I'll always remember those days we had together.
Although it's a short 3 months...
I made us each our attitudes and how we have changed over this freaking 3 months.
Zhi Hao... It's still my goal to get you a GF before i POP...
Don't give up.... Uthaya will train with you while i'm gone...
But i'll be back to train with you guys again after i POP...
Not bad i POP twice...
Uthaya... You'll make a good Sir.... Don't disappoint me...
Since i cannot go there with you anymore... Don't fall out...
You can do it.. Miss Cougar you are the best and the most sexy...
LOL... Woooooo.....
Zhou Wei... Err... Don't be so lazy la...
And try to work hard la...
Don't so worm can ?
You can do it as well...
Just don't give up and have the hack care attitude...
We buds will rule...
We are well known among the commanders of platoon 2...
We will be champions in our own way...

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
12:28 am

-----------------

About Me

Crossroads

Memories Of The Wind

Whispers Of The Forest

Whistle While You Walk

The Trodden Road

Memories of the forgotten

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Sunday, March 01, 2009