The Forgotten Land

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Never believe in Fairy Tales, i was all a lie. A story used to cheat Childrens and give them hope that the world is such a nice and beautiful place to live in. Where people ill live happily ever after. How many people actually gets to live life like this since the time they were born ? Foolish was i to believe in love such as that. To think that i will change for a woman and not God. You must be joking. I will never ever do that again. All is for God nothing else. Price is paid and lesson is learnt. I will not be fooled and toyed with. I will never be a puppet to be played around with, find some other guy to toy with evil women. Consume yourself with hate and enjoy while you still can. I will not bother nor respond to you, what reason do i have to humour you while i am busy with my projects. None... I shall never spent my time wasting on people who do not cherish them and that a relationship seriously. I had enough of that. How many more times will i be tormented with such people who do not love a people seriously but only speaks about them. Is it that fun to form a bond and break it ? Man...

Talk about love, anyway hack that. Project mate is even worst. Sit down there for 3 hours stare at the screen, sleep and go msn chatting. While i do the coding. Ask the questions and edit/modify the documents. What in the world are you doing. Even ASP.net sit one corner msn. Do project work on 1 freaking page for 5 hours and tell me you want to go home. If i'm the teacher i'll screw your life forever until you quit TP. I now have to take over your part and finish it by this wednessday before the teacher starts nagging again. I want to have an extra week of study break so don't even think of slacking Timothy, you have lots things to do and many more to come. Kill yourself for 3 more freaking weeks. Enjoy your bloody holiday and kill yourself for another 6 months until graduation and you'll be working for another few months before you enter into NS for 2 years of your life and than work for than another 2 or 3 years before entering UNI. Where you'll kill yourself for the next 5 or 6 years. Get married and have a few kids. And your kids will suffer the same fate. Fall in love bah bah bah.... I have lost faith in love in this world. Such love between a guy and a gal. Who needs it. Girls chat with you cause you look good. Guys chat with you cause you can help them with their projects or have fun playing CS. Those "friends" will disappear as soon as you do not play any part in their lives anymore. Maybe it is true marry within the Lord. Life will be better. Who else can be a better husband than the Lord himself. The only love you should have is for God. As he will alway love you and never abandon you. Unlike the people of this world.

Ever since i was in upper sec. I usually lock myself in the room. I hated humans. I never like strangers. Wouldn't talk to them, waiting for them to make a wrong move such a trying to wack so i can hit them back. Mixing with the wrong crowd. Getting into trouble. Naturally near-by when there is a inter-school gang fight. Got my name lock in their(police) database for playing soccer in the void deck. Lucky after that we found a nice spot to play our soccer. Why have my life been a complete mess ? It has never been the life i wanted or expected it to be ? I was never happy. The first time i went out with a girl was with a group of guys and she asked me out on a second date before asking me to be her BF. My "Best Friend" thought i would snatch his GF although i do not have a clue who the hell is she. He made a move make me her god-bro.... Lame... i didn't even agree to it... He was treating her like a dog giving her restriction so that she couldn't come see me. Lol... I just needed help for maths and he stick by her when i asked her for help. Ok.... Moving on... Back Stab.. Right somehow i do not want to talk about it anymore.... It's gonna rip open that wound that i forgotten and forgave the person somehow. But still i don't think i have fully forgiven the person since i still dislike seeing him. Thinking of entering the same camp as him just turn me off.... People i have known since primary school ganged up to put false accusation to me and edited my words to make me the guilty party. Posting it on friendster so every single people can view it. Each post made my blood boil. Each post made us friends no longer. Even when i wanted to stop this senseless arguement and forget about it. He makes it even more grand an occasion. What a big loser. Childish behaviour. Guess no one will read this post. Lol. But i do feel better now that i've written this down. Still somehow i hate humans. Those who are not of church. But lately seeing people in church even some girls i know of... I think i might be wrong. I might start to lose trust in humans again. I might be the next dictator or something. Or lock myself somewhere to avoid contact with humans. Anyway i need to think longer and harder. I might not even be a human if i keep thinking of killing those people. CS is a very harmful game. Do not be expose to it for long hours. It will make you violent.... Many people say your blog sucks or anything but i think i should not care about those anymore. I write what i want and you have no right to say that it's wrong cause it's what i feel. The govt. cannot do anything cause i do not insult nor oppose them. I do not break any law by writting what i feel. I'm totally sick to the core and need a doctor to heal my wounds and that doctor is time. I do not know when i will be cured and what i have to do to be cured. But still i want to be the best. If i play pool i must know every trick there is to know. One day i want to challenge a professional and win him. If i do a project i want to be the best in the class. I want to have nice grades. Not to be a slacker and get so low marks anymore. A B+ is not something to be happy with aim for a Z. I'll never be as smart as G but i want to be smarter than him one day. Maybe during UNI. I want to have better grades than him. I never ever want to slack again. I must grow up. I must be mature for my own sake. I do not care for humans. I must care for myself now. My grades must be good. So hack those "partners" i'll do a one man show in the future. Nitez. I shall sleep in fury and waken a new person but still my hate for man kind will not subside. Only till i can get back that trust, will i eventually and slowly trust people again.
Shannon

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
1:36 am

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About Me

Crossroads

Memories Of The Wind

Whispers Of The Forest

Whistle While You Walk

The Trodden Road

Memories of the forgotten

Saturday, August 04, 2007