The Forgotten Land

Sunday, April 27, 2008

My heart was beating so fast today. Finally after 3 years i managed to get into contact with L again. LUcky i didn't get to play maple much today since no one wanted to play I got a chance to find my old friends and well yeah friends on friendster. LOL. I guess the plan to kick my addiction of playing games is working so soon Zi Chao and bro nic can stop saying about my game addictions. Ok arr... I quit already hor. Dun say dun have. Dun believe ask Glenn to spot check me.

Anyway today was so boring. I wanted to work on my project but i got bored of working on it and so i played maple but got bored after an hour. So i went on msn, friendster and check on some friends. LOL speaking of MSN i thought L was online so i talked until so fun but it was a guy. LOL. So embrassing but anyway LOL. Talked to L man ! It's been so long since i last talked to L i thought i lost contact with her already but hahaha i found her back a few weeks back. L was busy so i chatting abit before i left L to finish up the project since it was to be submitted soon. I remembered those days. Hahaha it was happy times. Man so many friends i have lost. I wanna find my friends back. What happened ? Just because we got bad results during the O's so we go our separate ways ? Isn't that breaking us apart ? Now we have 3 groups when we meet. ITE, Poly and JC. What the hell.. Why must we group ourselves and make us so far away from one another ? Anyway it's good to find my friends again. They don't see me different from them anymore cos i'm getting out of this sickening place called TP.

So anyway i went on to watch a movie. Walked around. And went to sleep like mad. LOL. Guess i needed the sleep. Chatted with Zi Chao ask him if he wanted to play maple. LOL.. I totally forgot he got exams man. Ok. So good thing one shot kill my urge to play games. Yeah i still have to think about killing the guitar lessons. But it's addictive. LOL. You can play the guitar like mad. Yeah so played the new songs i learnt during my last lessons. LOL. It was fun. But than i was bored so i went online again. And woah L was still online. So we chatting abit more. Lucky. Man. Lucky i didn't anyhow told my friend i'll go with his match making plans with his friend. LOL. Finally what i want is coming true. What i truely desire. Maybe most of the girls i like remind me of her. I want to date them but maybe i just know they are just a fake screen. My feelings are lying to me. I don't really love them. Why do i date girls i don't like ? Was it to cover my feelings for her ? I wonder... How did my feelings die off for her in the first place ? I wonder ...

Ahh for brothers.... Man. I hate this brotherhood thingy rule about giving girls. But since my friend chose her so be it. But it broke my heart to see him breaking up with her 2 weeks later for another girl. Damn. I still remember that feeling the feeling that i so want to hit him when she had left the classroom. How can you hurt her for another girl ? Why must such people exist. How in the world did i ever see in him to call him brother ? Just because he is from my group of buddies ? Brother's are more than that. If you break up because you have nothing in common and cannot get along i have nothing to say. But you broke her heart by 2 timing both girls.

Damn. I was really sad during that time. My heart shattered into a million pieces. Why in the world would such a thing happen... Every time she saw him she would try to control her tears from falling but fails to do so. She would avoid sitting in front since we took the place there. I fought with him so we were sitting far apart. I remembered what i said to her the last time i spoke with L. I was fighting with that ass. I'm not sure if she heard it or not. Maybe her friends hear it and told her that. But i told her to bug off and not bother me. I was pissed off from that fight. Lucky no bruise if not my mom will kill me. Fighting for a girl whom she objects me to date. I'm sure i can change that. Cos i really love her.

That was the biggest mistake in my life. To tell her to bug off when she was already wounded. For the sake of a duty i had in church, i had to go do some church work. I was in a hurry during then so i told her off for bothering me when i was just leaving and shutting down my com. I guess she deleted and blocked me. So just now i talked to her she was like so why are you still talking to me. I felt guility for saying that to her before. Lucky she was just kidding. I didn't know what to say. Hmm... The only person that can make me speechless.... If serene see how i thrash her. LOL.

Anyway this is crap la. So dun care already the past is gone. I'll on talking terms with the ass. But not really so close anymore. LOL. Hmm... Guess revenge will get one to achieve nothing at all. But now, hahaha. My chance is here. I will not let go no matter what. So L get ready cause my eyes have room for none but 4 persons. 1. God, 2. Parents, 3. Family and Lastly and most importantly You. I see it so clearly now.

How do you know if the person is the one ? Hahahha. You don't. But you want to make the person you love The One no matter what. Sorry to those who wants to change my mind about marrying within the Lord. But if the time comes, the time comes. And the time for me has arrived. I want to continue living my life alone but to see her sad again. It just pains me to do so, so i wish to make her happy. I want to walk on the road with her. This is one i can confidently say i commit myself to it and with a lesson from someone else. Ok enough of the mortal life talking now to God.

Some people ask me why everytime i talk about God i'm so emo. But the question i have for you is why are you so emo about yourself but not God ? Come to God dun care come to yourself care so much. Another thing is if you dun care about God why must i care about you ? You pamper yourself but you don't love yourself. God's plans is so beautiful. But yet we don't listen and we go against him time after time. We study God's words for awhile and than we run away from it. We seek the world during that time slot. Most important is stick to God no matter what. If you wish to hack care God, for now hack care. I'll be on to you. LOL. But the time is not now. If you leave God that is the question i'll be on to you now. For they need more attention than that of your situation.

People must grow on the words of God and not just say that they have grown and all that and later just leave. Sometime where we say it's my life. Dun try to take over it. It is like hardening our hearts like what happened in Egypt a long time ago ? Must a life be taken away before we give in ? Would revenge come after that ? I wonder. Anyway you are in charge of your life. So how you decide to spend yes it's your choice. But it's good to spend them on your creator. I'm not sure what's i'm really saying but if i offend others please do give comments. But i believe strongly about what i feel. But if it's concerning my mortal life. Maybe i shall keep my slience for the time being.

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
9:37 pm

-----------------

About Me

Crossroads

Memories Of The Wind

Whispers Of The Forest

Whistle While You Walk

The Trodden Road

Memories of the forgotten

Sunday, April 27, 2008