The Forgotten Land

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Have you been feeling happy all your life ?
Have you notice if the people around you are happy as well ?
I wonder....
Sorry for not paying too much attention to details.
But i feel down as well.
Army is sick... I hate it to the core.
But somehow i love going back to see my buds.
My personality sucks as well.
Maybe i'm not the sensitive type.
I hack care, and i shrug it off.
That makes me happy, just to live each moment.
Anything bad, don't care.
People make fun of me.
Be happy cause you are making others happy.

Share the happy times together.
Being good friends.
Strangers can become close friends.
To die for in the course of battle.
I'm willing to die for someone else.
Are you ?
Jesus died for all of us didn't he ?
As a mortal does he know all of us ?
He told God to take the bittle cup away from him.
If it is possible did he not ?
And yet he went ahead with God's plans.
To rise up and clean us all.
He died for strangers and called us strangers his child.
Will you die for him because he died for you ?
Will you not die for a stranger too ?
Just like Him ?

Are the friends you know really your friends ?
Have you made an effort to be their friends.
Even if they betray you in the end ?
Even if they are unable to keep up to your level.
Do you help them ?
To be as good as you ?
Or make them trash and remain like that ?
Friends ?
What is it's meaning ?
Denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more people.
A relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis.
Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other.

Maybe we treat the word friend too lightly.
The the past, friends are close as love ones.
They are people you can kiss and hug.
They stand by you no matter what.
I will give my loyalty if you give me yours.
Prove to me your friendship and i will not doubt you.
That's bad right ?
I need your prove first...
But i try my best to give you my loyalty first.
If it's not returned...
So sad too bad....
Isn't christainly but i hope i won't get angry because of you.
For i will sin even more, plotting ways to kill you everyday.
Joking. But at least get angry for some crap you do.
If i do not enjoy your presence, i try to accept.
Until my limit.
Which is rather unlimited since army is so Shitty.

Being Happy ?
What's the meaning of happiness then ?
Happiness is a state of mind or feeling such as contentment, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy.
Yes !!! pleasure, contentment and all that crap.
But where do we find those things ? We are city people.
We have alot, yet we do not know of these small things.
That can become very big, if the situation arises.
If you are required to eat buns for your 3 meals.
Will you be happy ?
If you were to run for your life every single day.
Will you be happy ?
If you were out in the wild.
Hot in the morning, scortching in the afternoon.
Cooler in the evening.
Humid in the night.
Freezing in the later hours of the night.
Will you be happy ?

Are you happy to have a roof over your head ?
Are you happy to know that your friend is beside you but you can't talk to him ?
To prevent enemies from noticing our movement and sound.
It feels like you want to rip yourself apart.
So what is happiness ?

To know that your buddy is watching your back.
To know that you can support your buddy and he to you.
To know that even if we keep slient, we can get through the day safely.
To know that even if it's hot at least it will be freezing at night.
So it balance out in the end.
To know that you can eat your next meal.
While others get punished for breaking the rules.
To see the beautiful stars at night, the love shaped leaf.
The fire flies.... Such a romentic place, without the training.
Oh yeah if you want to enjoy them....
It's at the expense of your own sleeping time.
But what the hack, we don't get enough sleep everyday anyway.
So who cares.
Just watch the fireflies as they sleep and give a dimmer glow.
How beautiful to view them from such a close range.
I could almost touch them.
But i remember touching them will kill them.
So i didn't do that.
That was my happiness.
Thank God for the beautiful location to keep me happy.
Through such small things.

If you paid a trip to see the fire flies would you feel the same ?
Because you expect to see it.
If you didn't see it, would you feel angry ?
I was happy because i saw it and was surprised.
I was happy because i had something to look forward to each night.
I was happy and ready to run up the hill to see them ASAP.

Every little thing counts.
Even though you are shag.
You are suffering.
Somebody is more shag.
He is suffering even more.
Yet he is going on.
Will you not do the same ?
Will you give up ?
And leave your men behide ?

Even if you are unable to do anything.
Will you risk you life and stay with you buddy ?
Even if you can't help him.
Will you stay to at least lend him a hand or give moral support.
By being there with him ?

Before you judge others...
Judge yourself.
Have you been doing the right thing ?
Is others complain about the same thing about you ?
Would you change your life instead to suit others ?
Or would you want to be selfish and want the other party to change instead ?
It's hard....
But we are on earth, not heaven...

We are meant to be punished here in this forsaken world.
We are meant to suffer.
It's only when we do not suffer.
Sin will spawn...
People will act like brothers.
In times of peace.
But when trouble starts...
Will we still be together ?
Will you stay loyal ?
If your family is held hostage.
Will you say the same ?

Nothing is easy.
Even getting to heaven.
We need to put in hardwork in order to get there.
Be happy. Sin lesser, if possible don't sin at all.
Think of God, he need to clean you everyday.
Give Him some time to rest can ?
Although God doesn't need a holiday.
Giving him a holiday might make him happy.
So we all are happy.

When you suffer, share it.
We suffer together.
When we are happy.
We stay happy together.
Our group unfortunately is getting smaller.
Just 1 or 2 years can change a person so much.
When we can spend 16 to 20 years of our life in church.
We treat it like dirt and walk away.
This is how you treat God ?
Knowing he is true and having the HS ?
I say it's bullshit.
Don't give me your crap.
Unless you really cannot make it...
Don't come.
Don't tell me i cannot make it... Cannot rush over.
When you are shopping at the other end of the map.

Even if the sermon is not interesting.
May not be edifying or pierce your heart anymore.
Your heart may have turn to stone.
Too much army... Saying bad words has become so common.
It's hard not to sin when you are bounded by sin.
I just want to say....
If you are reading this.
Don't give up.
Because someone is praying for you.
I am praying for you.

I may not be good.
Or holy.
I screw up alot.
I'm not as good as i boast.
I may be in the past.
I'm a lazy person by nature.
I know i will die when i get out of cougar.
Although i complain.
I love my figure now.
And i want to continue having it, so i want to change myself.
I may not look hardworking now.
But i try my best to be the better man you once look up to.

Do not give up.
God is crying for you.
He is begging himself not to write anymore names in hell as he already done so.
Do not make him suffer anymore.
Return back to his side.
Do you not feel your heart grieve when you first had the hate ?
Do you not follow that small echo in your heart.
Telling you to forgive ?
Telling you to give in ?
It takes two hand to clap.

You know.
I have always looked up to you.
Because you did what i couldn't do.
Because you were always up there.
I was always in the shadows.
When i got the HS you got it shortly.
I was jealous.
But i shrug it off.

But i seek to be better than you in the wrong way.
So now i regrate.
Why did i give up on you so long ago ?
Just because you got the HS, i let you fly into the sky.
Like a kite, the string broke and you flew too far from my reach.
It's because army had not trained me to do so.
To be more understanding.
To be able to look after you as it is my duty.
I'm sorry.
Forgive me for letting you be this way.
I can only relay on God's hand now.
I may be useless... But i have a God that made everything.
Hopefully this has touched God's heart and yours.
Hopefully my Lord can help.
Hopefully he can open your heart again.

I can't only write till here.
Sick Dogs have to rest.
Nitez.

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
9:12 pm

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About Me

Crossroads

Memories Of The Wind

Whispers Of The Forest

Whistle While You Walk

The Trodden Road

Memories of the forgotten

Wednesday, February 18, 2009