The Forgotten Land

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Thinking for so long, i guess i should submit already... Actually if Nah never told me i won't even know. I should speak in tongues instead of speaking in words. How to do it ? I have no idea so i'll just keep praying, until i'm filled and God has guided me to what he want me to become. My character currently seriously suck to the core. I need alot of improvement. I'm in a lot of shit now for accepting stupid offers. So somehow this life thing is crapped up, money without it you cannot live. With too much of it you'll go proud. So i think i'll decline this offer. I do not want to see so much money in my life and never want to see it unless it is for my or in the future my family's survival.
Actually do i need a dog to keep me company ? Am i really lonely ? I was never really lonely, God was always with me. Just that i was so blind that i walked further away from God thus i felt lonely. I need to find myself. Speaking with Joel was the best talk ever. Talking about my first Love, guess my first Love was the best for me. No wonder they said you'll do anything for your first Love. It last the longest and it is the sweetest.
Many troubles do i have none that are of this world. I think i must change for the sake of my love. My love that has never abandon me. I need to change. For the sake of HIM. He has always loved me and yet i have never repaid him. The least i can do is to take care of his house so that he may be well recieved and be please of us, for taking care of his temple. 1 man can do nothing, many can do alot. With God all things are possible, but would you ever like to see the church burden settle on the shoulders of a person ? We should always help one another. Although i did not help Fr with the offering box today. LOL. Way the go man.... Long road for me to walk. Hopefully God will help me walk faster. Somehow what my friend said of me being a paster lol, it's kinda nice to hear. Well i have made a promise with God to be a preacher before... Just aim for it, even if i don't become a preacher doesn't mean i cannot help the church in any ways. I can do my part in servering HIM. As long as He is happy, i will do anything for HIM. I will work till my bones be brittle. Till one day the Lord will take me by the hands to walk the stairs to heaven. Maybe by that time he upgrade the stairs to lift. LOL... Next lvl heaven. Hahahaha.
Oh well, it's not because of don't care go to hell nevermind let everyone go to hell as well. Hahahaha.. Isn't it more fun ? We do not have to do any work and yet we can sin as much as we want. We'll still see each other, our classmates and enemies as well. We can slash and hack each other till be look so bloody and massed up. Isn't that nice ? You are happy but what about the 1 person who is sad, who sheds tears everyday thinking of you. You were loved by him all this while but you pushed his hands aways from yourself. Nobody likes the feeling of being rejected, so why have you rejected God ? I was never Godly, i never feared God in the past. In fact i wanted to go to hell, enjoy life with all my friends, let's all go to hell. Yeah nice right ? But in order to make everyone happy. I made my Creator, my Father, My Lord and my God sad. Even a God will love his master, to be sadden and sick due to the parting with it's master. To die of sadness for it's master what more humans. Creatures that have brains to think, to invent things to help us overcome problems. Yet we do not have such feelings compared to a dog. What does that make us ? Worst than dogs ?
Nobody is perfect. Nobody who wanted to be holy was like Jesus when they were kids. I bet the preachers did sins that they find disgusting when they look back in their life. All the ugly things we did when we were young and foolish. Thus i dare to say we must throw away our childishness and be fervent children of God. To throw our old self and be a new man. A new beginning with a the most beautiful person in the universe. Chatted with Jo managed to throw away some of my worries and burdens. Man, i wonder when was the time Jo had such a realisation ? We are all grown up huh ? No longer the child that kid butts, the teen that talked crap. I do talk crap but now i want to learn more than talk just senseless things. Instead i find the older generation(anyone older than me) more foolish for they are blinded by the things that does not lead to salvation why must such things be said and fought over with ? Wonder if Se grew and came to such a realisation ? I need more help Lord, i also need to build up my confidence and grow. I want to have more people growing for your sake. To have the same goal as me, to be made more beautiful by you. Hopefully i can live up to your expectation of me. If i am to be great let me be always reminded that you are the one i'm suppose to be great for. I am your servent to work for you and only you, never man and their silly comment whether if it's good or bad, it's your words that inspires me to speak your thoughts. Thus You have done a great job, not i. If i screw up anything it is my fault to dishonour your name, i have not lived up to your expectations and i wish for your help to guide me in my path. Always remind me to be yours and only yours, no others will be a 3rd party in our relationship with one another. The road is very rocky and steep many shall climb but how many can reach the top of this mountain ? Reach out your hand to grab me, bring me back to my path. Never let me fall from the cliffs, for the effects would be losing You forever and being away from You. Never to see you again. My Lord, never forget your servent. If it is i being called, let me bear fruit and be of use to you. Prevent me from withering and dying, renew me always so that i can live forever with you. May my flowers bring happiness to you so that you will find favour in me to love me more and bless my household. Amen.

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
11:40 pm

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About Me

Crossroads

Memories Of The Wind

Whispers Of The Forest

Whistle While You Walk

The Trodden Road

Memories of the forgotten

Saturday, September 08, 2007