The Forgotten Land

Monday, November 03, 2008

I wonder why ?
I promised not to blog yet i'm blogging.
I feel i'm drifting to the world instead.
I feel more comfortable with them.
Hahaha... I was right 6 years ago.
Once a sinner always a sinner.
There is no way my wings will fly up to the heavens.
If i'm to go to hell so be it.

This is what i'm feeling right now.

Clubbing keeps entering my mind.
I get invitations from friends, from babes.
Refusing them once, i stood strong.
But as the rocks keep tumbling on me.
My walls are cracking.
It's starting to give way.

I guess it's the end when i enter army.
Church... It's starting to get meaningless to me.
The people are just a fake smile.
You are never having a warm welcome.
God is far away for i made my distance by my every choice.

People can just go to hell for all i care.
Smiling is all fake, maybe God did the wrong thing to give me the HS.
Maybe it was meant for the person beside me but i snatched it from him.
I feel comfort with people from outside.
Their way of talking seems weird and different at first.
But slowly i'm getting used to them.
Drinking certainly i like.
Smoking, never. Once i made my point clear they dun bug me over it.
Talk cock. Best. Everyday if possible.
Make fun of every little thing.

Last friday was the worst day of my life.
To decide on going clubbing or not.....
Halloween party... At the hottest club in singapore.
Invited by a pretty young lady.
Work of the devil. Confirm will sin.
I don't want such stupid things to happen anymore.
Saddness within the family.
Why must sin abound ?

All i can do is lock myself in my room and switch my phone to slient.
With all hope that the phone will stop ringing.
Holy communion, i was like sorry for giving in to temptation for a moment.
Dressed up for clubbing but went back to change to my sleeping cloths.
But when there is no activities and i went back.
I was back to my state of sleepyness.
I want to sleep and i don't care of anything anymore.
I don't want to see anyone else.
Nobody... I just want to be forgotten.

Sermons are just being forgotten with each passing day.
And i have the feeling of death around me.
No bondings like before, just play and talk to computers...
Boring single player games.
I just want to make new friends and forget about my current ones.
I don't care about disappointment.
There is always a new start.
Looks like this family's spiritual aura is dimming.
Soon the life of God will not be in it and the tree withers.

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
11:03 pm

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About Me

Crossroads

Memories Of The Wind

Whispers Of The Forest

Whistle While You Walk

The Trodden Road

Memories of the forgotten

Monday, November 03, 2008