The Forgotten Land

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Woo... Crack my ankle while playing football getting a slide by some ass nvm that. Super high. Went to play pool until 3 am. LOL. Sleepy but fun. Spent the whole day out. Hahaha. Watched movie and bought some food man. It's expensive. Things are getting bloody expensive now a days. I guess i should be sleeping now but nvm. I'll go to bed soon. Maybe tomorrow go out with my clickz for another game of pool.

Bloody hell des do so much pattern during the soccer match yesterday. Keep calling me pastor. That ass. Shave his head and post the pics on youtube. Getting so pissed off. Remind me so much of... nvm... I think the most enjoyable time i go to church is for the Holy Communion. Just for God to be a part of him. Hmm.... Wonder if that can really be possible even as i am now. Maybe before when i was ignoring things but now the news are just posted right in front of my face. How many people have known the truth of things and fallen away ? Hmm.... Let me guess just plus one for now. Friends outside maybe even strangers, yes you heard me. Strangers can be more kind than the person you sit beside during service. If you are injured they help you. Funny. I never expected those actions to happen for them. People with a big heart, unfortunately they do not know the truth.

Who the hell is Big Bro anyway. Nvm. If he is so big to even tell his name let him be that way. I'm not bothering. Dun lecture me about God. I'll not give a damn about your lectures. So what if i'm falling. Nobody cares. Like A left, ok no one contact all just say long time never see that person. OK. Right. If you really wish for my own good just leave me alone and better start praying. Arr what the heck am i saying. Forget it. The more i speak the more i lose faith. Even though This really is THE TRUE CHURCH, i wonder why the false teaching are more welcoming. And less sick that this stupid lectures. Heard that in theolo, done that. Been there. Still Humans are sick. So we should just get wiped off this map. Just die la ok. Don't give God more trouble. If i don't exist you won't be there to correct me. I won't do God wrong. He won't be sad. Win win situation.

I'm done with this church maybe malaysia would be less disappointing. Maybe staying in the shadows isn't so bad. Going home after church not meeting anyone. Less disappointment. Good. Wonder why the world opens it's arms to me no matter how i reject, but nah just forget it move closer to God. Follow his laws. Ok. Yeah. Then... Follow his laws for the rest of your short life....Arr Damn... Talking about it won't solve my problems. I have enough of them at the moment.

Funny when one is constantly persuaded to do something they don't like. And i used to have a lesson on peer pressure. To be forced, and not give in. If you give me logic i will accept. If i find it bull than forget it. Isn't that how you preach to others leave it to God. If they find it bull forget it. Pray hope God will open their hearts. See hardening your hearts ain't so difficult. Getting fustrated now? That's how people feel when you keep saying same thing over and over again. Forget it not getting enough sleep. Com break down during critical moment lucky got people to help, thank God for that. But whatever dun give me more comments. Got something use logic. I'm not giving a damn about the rest. Not a moment of peace. If you tell me that's God test for me, i guess i have fail and turn out the way the devils wanted me to become. Even if God is stretching out his hands to me, without me stretching to grab hold of him, He will not be able to save me.

I need some time alone. To be away for things. Maybe I might find the answers i'm looking for. Maybe it's time to go for a holiday. Escape from things. Quit everything i'm doing and just go find a life. Find out the answers i need to seek before i reach back to my sane self. I keep falling into this black hole. And i will keep falling and falling until i get my willing to climb out of that hole. And believe me. Big Bro you might in a way be a medium to God by sending those messages to wake me up. But currently it's not working so stop it, it's annoying me and i'm more firm in my decision of leaving is being the better choice. Work on the other fallen sheeps. You are welcome to argue but seriously as i am. I don't give a damn. So sorry if those words hurt you but to me that is life at the moment.

and the frost fell...
those glassy crystal orbs... Shannon left a note @
4:02 am

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About Me

Crossroads

Memories Of The Wind

Whispers Of The Forest

Whistle While You Walk

The Trodden Road

Memories of the forgotten

Saturday, July 12, 2008